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Guest Review by Other Guy
Teresa once made a comment to the effect that Mission Impossible:2 was
basically a Tom Cruise's 2-hour homage to himself. The big difference
between that and Tomb Raider (Or if you really want the full title, Lara
Croft Tomb Raider) is that instead of being a giant tribute to the lead
actor (In this case Angelina Jolie), it is a giant tribute to the main
character, Lara Croft. She runs, jumps, shoots, blows stuff up, does
amazing gymnastic maneuvers, drives fast cars (and motorbikes), is smart,
athletic, and attractive - basically your typical teenage male fantasy.
The plot serves 2 purposes:
1) Provide an excuse for the movie
and
2) Talk about how great Lara Croft is. Honestly, that's all you really
need to know about it (which is surprising given how convoluted it gets).
The basic idea is that there is a magical metal triangle that has been
split in two and hidden on opposite ends of the Earth. The pieces can only
be found when all nine planets reach full alignment and a solar eclipse
occurs every 5,000 years. (Watch where you step; you might fall in a plot
hole) Anyway, if someone gets these pieces put together, he/she gets power
over time and basically becomes a virtual deity. Well, Lara Croft's father
(Played by Jon Voight) disappeared and is presumed dead looking for this
triangle, which, as it turns out, a group called the Illuminati also
wants. Long story short: Lara needs to get the triangle before they do.
Between the Swiss Cheese plot and the over glorification of the main
character, you'd think this movie would be a waste of whatever money you
spend on it.
You'd think.
It does have a few graces, however, that not only make it watchable but
actually entertaining and (dare I say it) fun. First of all, Angelina
Jolie, who could very easily decide to make this an ode to herself, opts
for a slightly more Raul Julia in Street Fighter path: She acknowledges
the absurdity of her role, and not only hams it up accordingly, but
actually seems to have fun with it as well. Instead of coming off as
someone who thinks she's the best thing to happen to Hollywood since
explosions and breasts, she comes off as someone who's trying to enjoy all
this running and shooting, and as a result, Lara Croft does not come off
as some ridiculously amazingly invincible hero but rather, the main
character of a video game (which is what she is). Also, the action
sequences themselves are also rather entertaining. Instead of shootouts
where everyone except the hero misses their targets, every bullet (just
about) makes contact, they just happen to hit either something that a)
exists for the purpose of getting shot or b) can take more bullets than
even Charlton Heston is willing to fire. In other words, it's pretty video
game-ish. Set that all to a techno/dance/industrial soundtrack that's
pretty good (U2 and NIN, among others), and while your mind won't be
stimulated, your perceptions will. Of course, that wasn't the best part
for me (well, ok the U2/NIN thing was, but...). Nope.
The guy who plays Arnold Rimmer on Red Dwarf is in it.
Kid you not. If that's not a reason to go see it, I don't know what is.
Overall: Not a particularly great movie, but it is a fun way to spend
an afternoon. |