|
What happens when you take the two most popular villains in a movie genre
and pit them against each other in a fight to the death? You get a
film that closely resembles the contents of Lenny Montana's digestive
tract. The movie starts off as you might expect. There's the
lone teenager with implants getting undressed at Camp Crystal Lake in the
middle of the night, calling out to her boyfriend to join her. One
gets the impression that she forgot to tell her boyfriend that she had
planned on skinny-dipping that night, because there's no sign of him
anywhere, not even when she shows off her goodies (which, being an unnamed
victim in a horror movie, she is contractually obligated to do).
Anyway, she goes in the water, her boyfriend never joins her, not even
after repeated cries of, "Where are you?" and "This isn't funny!"
She finally gives up on him when she hears something suspicious, gets out
of the water, puts on her shirt (making sure to button only a couple of
the bottom buttons, giving her boobs plenty of opportunity to flop out and
bounce around), and does what any reasonable person would do - she heads
into the woods. She promptly discovers Jason Voorhees who kills her
in his very special way. This sets the stage for a whirlwind adventure, a rollercoaster ride of fury, terror, teenage promiscuity, and murder that rivals only, well, pretty much every other slasher flick. Freddy haunts the dream world, and Jason haunts the real world. Our heroes aren't safe awake or asleep. There's also a big, dumb, convoluted subplot about kids and drugs and murder, with a Brittany Murphy wannabe assuming Heather Langenkamp's role. It follows all the same rules and uses all the same techniques. Here's the basic premise of the movie: Freddy Krueger has no power because the people on Elm St. no longer fear him, so he revives Jason and sends him on a killing spree on Elm St. so the locals will think it's really Freddy, and they'll remember, and he can kill again, but he also has to stop Jason from killing everyone first. As far as movies go, this one pretty much sucks. There's no drama, no suspense, and very little humor. What little humor there is is in the form of a Jason Mewes imitator who spends all his time getting baked. Yes, I realize that was a pretty redundant statement. The movie serves two basic purposes: The first is, obviously, to have Freddy and Jason duke it out. The second is to cram two movies' worth of bad dialogue, cheesy references, and clichés into a 100 minute time frame. While both purposes were accomplished, the movie is never really resolved. There's no clear winner, and the worst part is by the end of the movie, even the viewer has stopped caring. |