Let me first recognize a moment of silence in lieu of the disproportionate bashing given to Patrick McKeever in yesterday's edition of The Observer. Not since the infamous "parasite" letter insulting Saint Mary's students has a letter to the editor received such hot-tempered reactions. I would just like to make one more point on the situation: Cowboy Mouth stinks. And so does any project involving that whiny punk from Matchbox 20.

Hey SUB, if you're concerned with bringing us quality music, why haven't you contacted the forefather of rock, Ronnie James Dio? Dio is an inspiration to students all over campus. And do I even have to mention Gwar? Any band that uses animal bones to construct their instruments belongs in the Joyce Center.

Lastly, if we want to bring top '90s bands into the area, how about Korn? One Keenan Hall resident, Adam Martzke, explained to me that he was quite outraged that Korn has not been contacted. He said, "I am quite outraged that Korn has not been contacted." If we wish to counteract the odious stench of elitism on campus, what better bands to bolster the movement?

I won't make SUB out to be bad guys — they do work incredibly hard to bring entertainment to campus. But many us don't want to hear Ben Folds Five telling us that "She's a Brick" unless she's popping them upside the head. What we need is motivation.

To paraphrase from a famous book, "Man cannot live by hard rock bands alone, but requireth senseless violence." Once we have set the mood around here a little more to our liking, we must have something that will validate and honor violence, machismo and sexism. This means more wrestling on campus. I doubt the WWF will be as compliant given the past experiences with "non-student" types. But that makes it perfect for WCW.

Also, a wrestling tournament among students could entertain and bring in money for charity at the same time. This is the type of wrestling mentioned above, not the Notre Dame sport killed by Title IX. There are plenty of people around here who could use a good headbutt.

Where does this leave non-wrestling fans that deserve more quality entertainment? I propose altering a few existing activities we already enjoy. For example, we could have Acoustic Café without R.E.M. or Dave Matthews Covers Night every Thursday. I realize I am the lone individual who can't stand Dave Matthews, but I'm sure I could generate interest in an unplugged version of Judas Priest's "Turbo Lover."

There are forms of entertainment just waiting to be utilized, and it's our job to bring them to fruition. These are just several of many I've come up with. I'm sure you could do the same. Not all of them will generate positive responses; as much as I'd love to pipe the Rush Limbaugh radio program into certain rooms in O'Shag, it will never happen. And for all I know, Dio is busy touring Uzbekistan and SUB may have already tried some of my suggestions. But while I give SUB all due credit, I think we should each give them suggestions and make Notre Dame more entertaining.

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

• That's entertainment