I think therefore I am ... what?
Molly Strzelecki
Growing Up to Be a Kid
Does anyone else realize we are all insane? I'm talking loopy-loo-put-me-in-a straightjacket nuts. And finally, I've found the reason why. I'm a college student. This mental state comes with the territory.
Think about it. Think about all the ridiculous things you or I have done in our time here and I do not mean at parties or the like. I mean only college students would think it was absolutely OK to stay up until the wee hours of the morning studying our brains out for a test and then do the same thing again two nights later. Looking back on my past years here, I had a revelation. A breakthrough. An epiphany, if you will. That test I had last week that I walked into knowing nothing and walked out of as if I had just been held hostage for the last 50 minutes ... it won't matter in 10 years.
Hell, it won't matter next year when I'm in the "real world" and will (hopefully) have a job. I highly doubt that a perspective employer is going to question how my test grade was the week of November whatever. If they do care, then I am telling you now, I'm in trouble.
And 30 years down the line in my job that I will hopefully have, it really won't matter, because by that point it probably will not matter if I even went to college.
So why do we go to college anyway? Some people say it's because it's the best four, five or six years of your life. To which I say, if the best times these people had were crammed into a short four year period, then they lead sad, sad lives. Because I, for one, do not plan on letting the memorable and fantastic times I have had over the years come to a screeching halt on May 19, 2001.
Considering some 15 million people are enrolled in colleges and universities across the country and about 9.4 million of these people are under the age of 25, there must be some good reason why we do this. Why, after 12 years of learning we choose to go on for at least another four. Why we voluntarily stay up late and get up early to make the best grades we possibly can. Why we push ourselves to be at the top of our class. Why we make the decision to go days without showering because our class and study schedule does not allow the time to do so.
I decided to search why other people I know went to college. Their answers were surprising, though not abnormal. Well, not really. "It's been ingrained in my head since I was little," "It's what comes between high school and marriage," "It was either go to college or pay rent," "Well, when I was little, other kids played house and I played college dorm room," "Beers and chicks."
So where does this leave me? Still lost as to why I went to college and why anyone goes to college. I guess it could be because a higher education can give you a better job and help you attain goals in your life, but think of all the people who did that and never went to college. And think of the people who tried college and it simply was not their bag and they still wound up doing whatever it was they wanted to do to live out their dream. Think of the fact that just because you have a degree does not entitle you to your dream job or any job for that matter. If that's the way it's going to be, then I'm going to sell back my books now and take the 12 dollars and go see a movie. I'm hoping, however, my B.A. in English will mean something more than the `x' amount of dollars spent on an education, a constant cough and cold because my body is too weak from lack of sleep to fight the sniffles anymore and the knowledge that if you pull an all-nighter, Papa John's stops delivering at 2 a.m. and "Law & Order" comes on at 4 a.m. on A&E.
I am in no way a philosophy major and I do not have all the answers. One answer I can come up with is that college is just something you do if you feel the need and being individuals, we all do things differently. For some, it's a natural progression of sorts. I honestly don't know what I would have done had I not gone to college (except maybe live out my dream from when I was five years old and wanted to be a Jewel check-out clerk) and I guess that is really why I'm here — to figure out what I want to do. (I'm open to suggestions, by the way.) Taking a look back at all my classes, all the things I've done, in and out of the classroom, and my whole college "experience," I've realized that I am, indeed, nuts. My mental state at times is not so hot and there are weeks when I question everyday that I'm here.
If you can live through that sense you get every once in a while of "why am I here?" and realize that deep down the reason you are in college is because you love to learn, then it will be OK. It's a love of knowing all there is to know about a subject that makes you want to forgo your pillow and blankets and skip "Law & Order," just so you can learn more about your passion, whether it be English, Biology or Marketing. If you love it, you do question it sometimes. Especially since learning can occasionally really suck. But we do always come back for more. It's inevitable. Think about it. You may not realize it now, but you like it. You may even love it. You may even want some more of it.
Molly Strzelecki is a senior writing major at Saint Mary's College. She can be e-mailed at strz7359@saintmarys. edu. Her column appears every other Tuesday.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Tuesday, November 21, 2000
