I was talking to my little brother on Instant Messenger the other day. He was proudly telling me about his football game last Saturday and how he had made his first touchdown. As I asked him the details of his game-winning play, I too started to beam with pride. He has played for several years now, and after every game he always "was so close" to making a touchdown. This was an athletic feat he had been working towards since his first trip to a Notre Dame football game.

Despite my honest happiness for my brother's accomplishment, a bit of remorse lightly overcame me as well. I wasn't there to cheer him on. I wasn't there to hug him after the game. I wasn't there to see his moment of well-deserved glory.

As I sat at my computer chatting with him, my mind started racing back to when I was in seventh grade, just like him.

I felt so old then. College kids were way beyond any reach of my imagination. They were so grown up and so mature. They were so busy all the time. I used to get so intimidated by anyone over the age of 15. Does my brother see me in the same way I used to see college students?

Seventh grade doesn't seem like such a long time ago. I can still remember the smell of the lunchroom and the pain of not making the cheerleading squad and the excitement of switching classes every hour. I felt so in control of my life, even though I was quite dependent on my parents and teachers. Compared to the elementary school kids, I was old and intimidating.

What makes me different now from the person I was then? How much of a separation is there between my brother and me?

When I think about how quickly seven years has passed me by, I get a little scared. Seven years ago I was taking a brown bag lunch to school via a big yellow school bus. Seven years from now I will be 26, on my own, possibly even married.

This in-between stage we are in proves how quickly time flies. Sometimes I feel like I want to be 12 again, and other times I wish I was 26.

As my conversation with my brother progressed, I became even more thoughtful. When I was in seventh grade, college was something to look forward to — it was always so far in the future. But, now I am here and it is my present. Part of me wishes I could be my brother's age once again because I now know how great college is and how worth the wait it was. I want to always have it in my future because being here is so great.

My brother has four years of college to look forward to, and I already have over a year of college to look back upon. When my brother is my age, I will be 26 and a full adult. I know I will look onto him with envious eyes because he will have the time I am now so desperately trying to hold on to. He is the lucky one.

Maybe seven years from now I will be back on campus for a football game. Maybe the touchdown my brother made last Saturday is the start of his Notre Dame experience.

Maybe we both need to appreciate the time we have right now.

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

• Seventh grade reflections