I've decided to start calling myself the "Sexiest Man on Campus." I have done nothing to earn this nickname and if you look at my headshot next to this column, you will see its entirely not true. But that doesn't matter. Because I think that I am the "Sexiest Man on Campus," everyone should start calling me by this name.

Hopefully every one who just read that paragraph laughed out loud. It is pretty obvious that I am not the "Sexiest Man on Campus" and have done nothing to earn this title.

Now, how many of you think "Mike's Outrageous Bunch" is a good name for the Notre Dame student section at basketball games? What has the student section done to earn this nickname? Nothing.

Sure, the students were pretty loud last year and did a great job supporting the team, but they were far from a "MOB." On top of that, the nickname was not something Notre Dame earned but a nickname the student government bestowed on the student section. Sorry to break this to everyone, but you don't get to pick your nickname.

Nobody outside of Notre Dame calls the student section the MOB. ESPN won't start its television broadcasts panning over the student section and saying "Welcome to South Bend, Ind. for a critical Big East match-up. The MOB is jumping tonight and this game should be a great one."

They will, however, call the Duke students the "Cameron Crazies" when they broadcast from Durham because the Duke students earned their nickname. The Duke student government didn't have some vote campaign to pick a nickname.

The Duke students showed up at every game screaming and yelling and intimidating the other team. Overtime, this crazy atmosphere earned the Duke students their nickname.

Ever heard of the AFROS? Probably not. That was the nickname that the Notre Dame wide receivers gave themselves in the early and mid '90s. Standing for "America's Finest Receivers on Saturday," the name never really caught on. There were two problems with this nickname: first of all, they weren't the finest receivers on Saturday and second nobody can adopt their own nickname and expect it to stick.

Maybe someday the Notre Dame student section will earn a nickname for its spirit. But so far the only possible nicknames it has earned is "Bastard Children" or "Waterboys." So dump the "MOB." Show up at the games. Scream your lungs out. Stand behind this team in victory and defeat and someday the Notre Dame student section will earn a nickname.

And as far as calling me the "Sexiest Man on Campus," if any of you ladies out there actually believe it, my phone number is on the Viewpoint page.

• Nickname, anyone?