They're the two words that strike fear into the hearts (and resumes) of college seniors everywhere: job search.

Yes, it's that time of year again, folks. Time to press your suit, print your resumes, and sell yourself to any willing company for a negotiable price.

We've already had the career fairs, where college students are herded together like cattle to look for the best jobs with the best companies.

Most of you have already had interviews, some significantly more than others. You get asked the typical questions, like `Why do you want to work for our company?' and `Explain to me specifically how your PLS major qualifies you to potty train chimpanzees?'

Despite these tough economic times in our nation, for the most part Notre Dame students are still regarded pretty highly on the job market.

Notice how I said "for the most part," because, at the current moment, there is at least one Notre Dame senior still looking; not necessarily for the perfect job, more like just A job: namely, yours truly.

Keeping track of my applications right now is a lot like watching the stock market during the Great Depression: failure after failure after failure.

My current job search scoreboard looks like a baseball player during a slump: 10 applications, seven responses from companies, eight rejections, including one that I had to discover myself by finding out the interview date had already passed.

Strike one.

So, save a miracle response from the Boston Beer Company in the next few days, I will be left to the spring semester with my last-minute applications.

Combine that with my two jobs and a rigorous class schedule and it makes for a really busy year, all in all.

To make my job search complete, I am pondering resorting to the Internet to promote my career (pardon the pun). Job search engines are all the rage these days, and if my career search here at Notre Dame ends in vain, sites such as monster.com could very well be my only hope.

Although I could always maintain my job at the local supermarket, my parents have more or less narrowed my job search somewhat by eliminating that as an option.

Strike two.

My last resort, one that I am very hesitant to use, is networking. For some reason I fail to see how I earned the job when my cousin's daughter-in-law's half-brother basically handed me the job.

But hey, who am I to pass up a free job offer?

So let me use this column as a promotional gimmick.

I need a job. Any job.

I can work nights, I can work weekends, I can work holidays, I can work upside down. I can do anything. Well, OK, I can't fly, but I can do almost anything else. Ask me.

• I need a job!