Once again, U.S. News & World Report has rated Notre Dame in the top 20 schools in the country. ESPN ranks Notre Dame as No. 23 in college football. But did you know that Notre Dame has some of the best rated squirrels in the country? It's true.

Jon Gottshall has a rather interesting pastime; he rates campus squirrels and posts them on his website, www.gotshall.com/squirrels. Gottshall has been rating squirrels on his website since 1995. He got the idea as he traveled to various college campuses while doing research for his master's degree (not on squirrels, by the way) from California State University at Fullerton.

Gottshall rates campuses on a one-to-five squirrel system. Ratings are based on field reports from students and alumni of the universities.

Gottshall believes that the abundance and nature of squirrels on a campus indicates the quality of its host institution. The website rates campuses based on a variety of traits in its squirrels including: cuteness, charm and friendliness. Notre Dame received a four-squirrel rating thanks to former student Eric Mason's observation that Note Dame squirrels "have it better in South Bend than humans."

The website notes that Notre Dame has the added advantage of being in prime fox squirrel county. Fox squirrels are orange in color and have larger bushier tales than their gray, city-dwelling counterparts. Gottshall has yet to rate Saint Mary's.

Squirrels are rodents. But unlike most other rodents, squirrels are diurnal. While many campus squirrels may seem tame, they are not. In fact, squirrels don't like to be handled much, so petting one may be out of the question.

According to Gottshall, squirrels usually allow themselves to be handled only when you are feeding them. Some squirrels are known to bite if you "violate their personal squirrel space." According to Gottshall, squirrels rarely carry rabies so it's not too much of a problem if you are bitten. Squirrels may, on the other hand, carry various parasites or viruses that are harmful.

If you do choose to feed the squirrels, Gottshall recommends giving them filberts, or hazelnuts as they are commonly known. Squirrels like hazelnuts that are still in the shell; however, they can sometimes be expensive and hard to find. A cheaper and more available alternative to filberts is roasted peanuts. Gottshall points out that you should only feed squirrels roasted peanuts because raw peanuts have an enzyme that can destroy their digestive tracks and may make them extremely sick or even kill them.

Further information of the proper care and feeding of squirrels can be found at www.squirrel-rehab.org. The site details how to rehabilitate an injured baby squirrel, find a wildlife rehabilitator in your area and even treat metabolic bone disease in convalescent squirrels.

Most injured squirrels are babies that have fallen from their nests, or dreys as they are called. In most cases if the mother is going to return for the children after the drey falls, she will do so immediately. If a baby squirrel is found by a human, it is almost certain that the mother will not be coming back. Dehydrated baby squirrels can be helped by being fed liquids. The site recommends Esbilac or Pedialyte to feed to a found injured squirrel. Other liquids including cow's milk may cause serious medical problems.

The site does not recommend that individuals care for injured animals themselves because it is illegal to process wildlife without proper authority to do so. The site also lists ways to contact experts in wildlife rehabilitation and veterinarians as well.

Of course not all sites are pro-squirrel. At www.scarysquirrel.org web surfers can read anti-squirrel propaganda. The site has reams of bizarre diatribes railing against the "nut devils." The highlight of the site is the Notice to Vacate game in which you must defend a house from raiding squirrels (The Observer staff high score came in at 361,200 points).

Much of the site is written from the perspective of prairie dogs that want to effect a mass genocide against squirrels and destroy their infamous leader Tufty the Safety squirrel.

The site also has regular campus updates about nefarious squirrel activity. The last update for Saint Mary's was on July 1, 2000. A student, known only as "Debbie," reported a dangerous squirrel that apparently stares down his victims with beady eyes.

In fact, the typing the word "squirrel" into any basic search engine brings up hundreds of squirrel-related websites. The content ranges from pictures of squirrels in people's back yards to bizarre fiction and squirrel-based video games.

So, next time you hear somebody tell you that they go to one of the top schools in the country, ask them what their squirrel rating is.

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