If the current presidential hopefuls leave you wanting someone a bit "alternative," you may soon have a choice.

All indications show that actor Warren Beatty is "cautiously" eyeing a potential run for the U.S. Presidency, which will soon be vacated by his moral equivalent, Bill Clinton. Beatty, known for changing women more often than his socks, is apparently frustrated with the current list of candidates and would run as a Democrat, citing potential challengers Gore and Bradley as not "liberal enough." Sure, and that Pat Buchanan character is a real pinko.

My objection to this latest possible candidate has nothing to do with the man's political views, nor does it concern his corny movies. What bothers me most is the fact that yet another Hollywood star has decided that we not only care with what he has to say, but that he has the right to tell us.

Not that I have always objected to all actors-turned-politicians. Ronald Reagan provided many conservatives with a role model and gave many liberals someone to blame for poverty, AIDS and that stain you can't quite remove from the carpet. Unfortunately, I can't decide whether the good things accomplished in the 1980s are worth having Grandpa from "The Munsters" run for Senator in New York against Hillary Clinton and Rudy Guiliani.

I also would like to point out that I am a staunch supporter of the First Amendment, even when it protects pornography, hate speech and Barbara Streisand. However, television and movie stars receive enough air time without reserving the right to inform me that they're concerned about the environment. Yeah, I'm concerned too, but not because some special interest group pays me to act concerned in cheesy television commercials.

Therefore, I respectfully request that our star-studded friends out in Los Angeles remember they are being paid for their looks and acting ability. It sounds shallow, but it serves a purpose: when most of these people speak, they reveal themselves as uninformed meatheads. Great, Woody Harrelson wants us to know he's on a crusade to legalize pot. At least potential potheads might think twice before they turn into Woody Harrelson, but watching him act already teaches us that lesson.

Hopefully, the recent political hopefuls from sports and entertainment won't start a trend that will leave us voting for the "Friends" cast in a few years, much less any one from the FOX network. They provide plenty of entertainment for people who usually don't pay attention to politics, thereby bringing new faces to the polls. If you think that's a positive result, consider whether you really want WWF fans voting.

Of course these candidacies are interesting to watch, but the end result probably won't be any better than the usual collection of clowns running in national elections, which is exactly why we pay attention to these people when they decide to run. Every year, we run to the polls with high hopes and excitement, only to be let down. It's sort of like having Madeleine Albright jump out of a cake at your bachelor party.

Warren would be well advised to stay out of politics and go back to Hollywood with his philandering, drugged up, dishonest colleagues. We have enough of those in Washington as it is.

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

• Out of the Woodwork