Hey, I didn't do my homework the other day. I was supposed to read about 250 pages for four classes, but I didn't do it.

That's not to say I didn't try. I stayed up until 1 a.m. reading one article for my sociology class. Actually, I fell asleep around 11 p.m., only turning my light off and setting my alarm with a guilt I was too tired to consider at 1 a.m.

So I didn't think about it.

The next morning, when everything I was supposed to read was supposed to be discussed, I prayed for cancelled classes and all that special stuff that rarely happens.

Instead of getting what I paid for, I got what I asked for. The professor in my first class of the day decided that since I was closest to him, and since I brought a copy of the reading to class, that I would be the first one to be called upon for an insight.

After a long deathly silence and a couple of ums, uhs and alrights, I coughed something up out of a certain nether area which is referenced quite a bit throughout classrooms in Notre Dame, Ind.

Needless to say, I was proud of myself for the rest of the day, at least until I bombed a quiz in a later class, based on the readings I didn't do.

What I'm getting at is that I'm a big loser for thinking that this semester would be easy. As a senior, I thought, "Cool! I only have class on Tuesday on Thursday! I have it made! This is gonna be so easy! I can brag about it to others with heavier schedules! I'm so cool!"

Really, all it means is more motivation to procrastinate. This kind of motivation does not exactly help for someone who has thrived on procrastination throughout his last seven years of schooling. It is unfortunate that my professors have been fooled into thinking that I have consistently done quality work.

The lesson here, I suppose, is that what seems easy probably isn't. Unless you are taking a class called "This class is really easy, despite what Mike's column said" 101, which will probably be kind of challenging anyway, everything that each and every one of you people out there confronts will be hell on earth.

Every time y'all get in a bind, just remember that your life sucks. Things probably won't get better, unless you drop out of school and start doing something you actually enjoy doing.

If I had a chance to take all these feelings of guilt and heartache and throw them out the window, I would. Maybe it's that whole Catholic thing. Maybe it's just that I feel guilty about everything. But if I could get rid off all that crap, in a minute I'd transfer myself to Aruba or Hawaii or Manitoba.

Of course, I can't rid myself of that crap. Instead, I must now worry constantly about my professors reading this and punishing me severely. I guess I'll try doing my homework next week or something.

• Yeah, I'm a slacker