Letter to the Editor
Mary Ann Hennessey
Notre Dame Class of 1990
I was a bit dismayed by the two letters in Thursday's Observer "Men on Campus respond to rape letters." Over the past few weeks, a number of women have poured out their souls, their pain and their isolation on the pages of The Observer, and these two letters were the only response from Notre Dame men?
When I attended Notre Dame in the late '80s, one was still likely to be expelled for having broken (or allegedly broken) the famous du Lac rule about extra-marital sex. During my undergraduate years, I recall several girls expelled for pregnancy, a couple expelled for being found "suspiciously" alone in a room after parietals and several other cases which led to a general lack of communication about sex, rape and pregnancy.
I also experienced a very near-miss with rape myself.
Emerging from a hazy drunken state, I found myself locked into a dorm room with a male student intent on raping me. The fact that my sole presence there could have lead to serious problems, or even expulsion, of course played into my aggressors hand. "If you scream you'll get busted."
To make a long story short, as soon as I got the opportunity, I decided "I'd rather get busted than raped, so I'm gonna scream." I ran off and that was the end of the story, at least for him. It took me a long, long time to get over the fear and suspicion I learned that night.
The moral of the story is, I think, threefold:
1. The subject of sexuality and sexual relations should be approached in a more open and mature manner on campus.
2. The reality of a social life based on the consumption of alcohol needs to be addressed, not by creating alcohol-free events, but by looking into the root causes of excessive drinking (one of which is social inhibitions linked to the difficult ideal of Catholic kids' behavior).
3. There needs to be a real dialogue between women and men on campus, open and sincere communication between adults and not just an either or between class talk and dating game.
These letters struck me as being a head-in-the-sand reaction from "good boys" who reject any responsibility for the behavior of the "bad boys."
Sure, you can't paint all men with the same brush, but face it — even the seminarians want to have sex (as I recall).
The fine line between good boy/bad boy or good girl/bad girl could be as slim as a game of quarters (if you still play that).
I make this appeal to the Notre Dame community. Your youth is glorious — don't waste it with false morality or prudishness, but don't destroy it with ignorance, fear and violence.
All Viewpoint Stories for Wednesday, April 19, 2000
