Asian-American experience
Edward Song
freshman
In June of my senior year at Tenafly High School, during our class's final hurrah together on our senior trip, my track coach approached me and asked, "So Ed, where are you heading to next fall?" I replied that I'd be attending the University of Notre Dame.
I almost expected her response: "Oh, that's wonderful! But Ed, I know that people in the Midwest haven't been exposed to many Asians, so if anyone gives you a hard time, get out."
What really irked me was that I thought I was being paranoid, pessimistic and too defensive about my premonitions of Notre Dame not being as accepting of Asians, but to hear this from a history teacher and track coach from my high school was very unnerving. However, I still attempted to maintain an open outlook at coming to this school, hoping that college would be a broadening experience of diverse people, and if not that, at least diverse in thought and experience.
But once again, I knew of Notre Dame's adamant Catholic tradition, its overwhelming homogeneity and its conservatism. I don't think these characteristics are negative attributes, but I think these qualities prevent Notre Dame from having a more open and broader perspective. I am not sure if it colored my outlook coming into the school or if I was simply seeing the institution for what it was.
I came to campus in hopes that things weren't what I assumed. But during my first taste of college life at Notre Dame, it felt as if the world was going in one direction, and I was going completely against the grain.
I know this is cliché by now, but it still has an impact to see just how many articles of clothing are from Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle, etc. It sent me the message that either I should conform or feel alienation.
So I chose the latter. Then I thought to myself, "You know what? Clothing, music taste, all those factors are just personal preferences that shouldn't really matter." So I tried to talk, to explore and to experience new people.
But somehow I would feel this constant sense of inferiority among a crowd that was quite different from me in terms of appearances, likes and dislikes and overall outlooks on life. Sometimes, I would be treated differently, either subtly or overtly. When conversing in a crowd, it is as if people don't even address or acknowledge you, that you don't exist in the conversation. Or I hear about other experiences in which an Asian is the butt of a joke. It's funny to everyone else, but it immediately singles the Asian kid out, creating self-consciousness and a feeling of inferiority to those who are Asian.
I seriously wonder if I am being overly sensitive or defensive, but I talk to other Asians on this campus, and the subtleties and the lines drawn between races is clearly evident in listening to other Asian-American experiences on campus.
People can hate and discriminate, consciously or unconsciously in their words and actions. Nevertheless, Asians on this campus are trying to educate rather than reciprocate. We want to create understanding and broaden perspectives despite the struggles we encounter along the way. We want that true college experience, and hopefully you all do too.
Edward Song
freshman
Fisher Hall
April 4
All Viewpoint Stories for Monday, April 7, 2003
