Community responds to alleged rape incident
More education needed about acquaintance rape
letter to the editor
Imagine my suprise when I picked up the Observer yesterday (Monday, April 3) and saw the article on the front page: "ND Police: Woman reported rape in dorm."
While rapes and sexual assaults have always occurred on the campuses of Notre Dame, Saint Mary's and Holy Cross, they are never talked about — much less printed in the paper. This is a disturbing feature on our campuses — we as women are never informed when assaults occur, and so sadly, there are women walking around with a false sense of safety.
There are students who think that rape and sexual assault are just dirty words — and things that happen at other schools. Well, I hate to be the one to shatter everyone's bubble, but they do happen here. And they occur more often than anyone would like to believe or admit.
Ask your friends — I bet more than a few of them know a victim of a sex crime. Or maybe they're a victim themselves. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 1 in 4 women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape by the time they are in their mid-twenties. Also, women in their late teens are three and a half times more likely to be a victim of a sex crime than the rest of the general population.
What does this mean? The women on these three campuses are those most likely to be at risk, and we are not even being informed of this risk and that these things do occur.
My heart goes out to the victim of this most recent rape. Her pain and confusion is probably at an all-time high right now — after all, someone she knew and probably trusted violated her in the most extreme way. Her situation is not uncommon — according to the U.S. Department of Justice, 68 percent of rape victims know their assailant.
I respect her decision not to press charges, and would challenge anyone who is criticizing her for this choice to imagine how they would feel if this had happened to them. I also understand that all the departments involved with this at Notre Dame are unable to press charges against the assailant, and that no action can be taken against him.
Fine, I'm not going to argue that point. I do believe that something can be learned from this terrible event. You are more likely to be raped by someone you know than by the scary guy you see walking down the street.
Instead of covering this incident up, Notre Dame, Saint Mary's and Holy Cross can take this opportunity to educate members of their respective communities, men and women alike, about rape — especially aquaintance rape. Maybe future assaults can be prevented. Women can learn to assert themselves, and men can understand that "No" does indeed mean "No" — we're not playing hard to get.
Finally, to the rape victim. Last year, I was a victim of a sex crime when a member of the Notre Dame community sexually assaulted me. Please remember — it's okay to be angry, scared and confused. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to friends — tell them what you're going through, how you're feeling — they will be a huge source of support. Don't let anyone tell you that you should "be over it by now."
Recovering from something like this is a deeply personal issue — you will feel better when you are ready to feel safe again. Always remember that it was not your fault. Nothing you did, said or were wearing gave anyone the right to rape you. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT — and don't let anyone tell you it was.
Remember that you are not alone now, and you don't have to go through this on your own. Reach out for help, and someone will be there to take your hand — someone was there to take mine.
Anonymous
Junior
Saint Mary's College
April 3, 2000
All Viewpoint Stories for Wednesday, April 5, 2000
