As this year comes to a close, many of us find ourselves learning the truth about the people around us.

Until a couple of days ago, I thought that I had found some true friends at Notre Dame. I mean, I loved it here; friends were great, classes were pretty cool and it was just fun overall. I still love it here; classes are still pretty cool and I'm still having fun, but last Wednesday taught me much more about life than most of my classes in my entire life

All friends are not created equal.

Yeah, you know. I got to school in the fall, and all of a sudden I found myself living amongst 200 other girls and dealing with many more female hormones other than my own. While living in rows of shoeboxes, we get to know each other pretty quickly. Actually, we get to know the persona that each person wants to portray.

Among my good friends at school who make each day bright (even when we don't see the sun for the month), there are those I considered friends who hurt much more than they can ever give back. I've learned that somebody cannot hurt me unless I let them because I have known who I am way before they ever met me. Friends are not supposed to hurt you, hence the word friend.

True friends can be woken up with a phone call at 2 a.m. when you need them. True friends make you smile even during finals week. But most of all, true friends do not always need to agree.

As I write this column, you must know that I am an opinionated person, but you're not the first to figure that out. During my 18 years, I have not kept my mouth shut, and I usually have an opinion about a lot, but that's me.

True friends have stayed throughout all these years and all these opinions because we're strong individuals. We are secure enough with ourselves and our beliefs to differ without feeling defensive. We understand that we won't always agree, but our friendship binds us.

Yes, my best friend is far away, but she is one of my true friends who I will always love. We have known each other since the "New Kids on the Block" days and we will console each other while friends come and go.

I have many true friends and my roommate here, by chance, has become one of these friends even though we don't always agree; but, agreeing all the time is not the point. Friendship for me does not come when I find a mirror image of myself. Friendship just happens. It's one of those things that forms when people love to be around each other and don't let differences divide them.

As a Russian proverb says, "A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue."

• A true friend will argue