The Terminator tackles politics
Brandon Niemeyer
Daily Mississippian
OXFORD, Miss.
I hope that each and every one of you are sitting down before you read what I have to say. Arnold Schwarzenegger (read: the muscular guy from Austria who blows up random buildings and manages to save the day) could be in charge of an entire state.
There are currently rumors, much to the delight of conservatives and fans of "The Last Action Hero," that Schwarzenegger will run for governor of California.
God, can you imagine someone running a political office that is best known for starring in bad action-adventure movies with no plot?
The fact that Schwarzenegger is even being considered for such a leadership role is terrifying to me. With all the things the people of California have been going through with things like plummeting tech stocks and power outages, they must be forgetting the important things in life, like taking their medication.
All of this must be a part of a giant evil plot by Paul Michael Glaser, the man who directed the 1987 movie "The Running Man." "Running Man" starred both Schwarzenegger and current Minnesota governor and soon to be ex-XFL announcer Jesse Ventura.
Why in the name of all that is held holy would you want Schwarzenegger running your state?
Schwarzenegger would add nothing to the political climate in that state except 300-plus pounds of steroid-built muscles.
At least political debates would be somewhat interesting. Imagine someone like Jim Lehrer telling the format of each debate.
"Tonight's debate will consist of a blind question session and followed a steel cage match. Each candidate will be able to enter the ring with the theme song of their choice."
And we thought Ventura would make Minnesota the laughing stock of the country when he won governor in that state. Hang on, it's Minnesota that is known only as the home of 10,000 lakes and the Mall of America, so there wasn't much respect for it to lose.
On the campaign trail, Schwarzenegger could be equally hysterical. At least he could stand up in front of women's and children's groups and profess his love for kids. "I was in Kindergarten Cop. Kids love that movie. Vote for me."
All of this really exposes a pathetic nature we Americans have: If you're famous, you can be anything, including governor of California.
Why can't Hollywood simply stay out of politics? Yes, Hollywood actors are concerned with issues. But we all are.
To be honest, does anyone really care what Alec Baldwin or Charlton Heston think about gun control? I know Heston is the president of the NRA and all, but the only reason he was even considered was because everyone knew he would bring in a lot of publicity.
We soon may be seeing Pee Wee Herman and Chewbacca run for state Senate seats in California if Schwarzenegger is elected.
Though, when you look at it in a deep way, running for a major political office is just like starring in a movie: Either way you're regurgitating what someone else has told you to say.
This article first appeared in the University of Mississippi newspaper, the Daily Mississippian, and is reprinted here courtesy of U-WIRE.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Monday, April 2, 2001
