We plan for it months in advance. We purchase new wardrobes, go tanning, diet and work-out like crazed kids to get our bodies in perfect shape. Rumor has it that some people even let their livers take a break before being assaulted in the long-awaited week of debauchery. No, this isn't Antostal.

This is spring break – college style.

But, alas, we are mere college kids. Though we may feign responsibility in our little campus world, there are some things we just don't know how to deal with.

Senior Josh Bourgeois and his friends had just arrived in Ireland and rented a car when they were beset by an interesting dilemma. While driving along a narrow road to Ireland's highest pub, they accidentally hit a rock protruding from the mountain side, resulting in a flat tire. As they attempted to lift the car to replace the tire, the jack became stuck. All four young, strapping men tried their best to lift the car and dislodge the jack – but the car wouldn't budge. They were approached by a "surly, old Irish guy," Josh said.

"He kept telling us things, but the only word we could understand was `lift! lift!'"

It wasn't until they were joined by this mysterious rescuer that they were able to successfully lift the car, replace the tire and continue on their way.

Matt Orenchuk regales the incident that occurred during his visit in Vermont. Matt was staying at a friend's grandmother's house on a beautiful lake. The Wednesday of break, Matt felt nature calling, so he stepped into the upstairs bathroom.

After answering the call, Matt tried futilely to flush the toilet. It wouldn't go down. Due to the poor plumbing of the old house, the contents of the toilet backed up in the pipes and started to come up through the bathtub drain "There was this murky, brown sewage water filling the tub," Matt said.

Though the bathroom plumbing was inoperable, Matt and his friends thought they could at least use the kitchen sink to wash dishes. However, they soon discovered that the drain in the kitchen was also emptying into the tub, carrying food particles and all.

"It was disgusting – it was my poop and it was coming up through the bathtub." Matt said. After confronting the tub with a wet-dry vac, Matt and his friends "got the hell out of Dodge a day early."

My spring break trip was an odd combination of "Road Rules" meets "The Real World" with a touch of "Home Alone."

All of my spring break plans fell through. There was the camping trip with my siblings: failed. The charter boat fishing trip with family friends: failed. The road trip to New York: failed; trip to Boston: failed; running away to Indonesia with a Zen-Buddhist: failed. But I was not to be deterred. One thing was certain – I was not going to spend a week at home.

When the opportunity arose for me to take a road trip to New Orleans, I jumped at it. So maybe I had only known one of the guys for a week. And maybe I didn't meet the other two travelers until the morning of our departure. But we all piled into my truck and headed southbound. All we needed was a video camera and some melodrama and we would have been set for MTV.

The situation became even more interesting in New Orleans, where all four of us – plus some – were crammed into a small house. Was it a coincidence that in reality, MTV is filming "The Real World" up the street? We should have had a guest appearance. Though the others I was with were familiar with each other, I was a total outsider.

All in all, the week was an interesting experience in socialization.The highlight had to have been St. Patrick's Day when I was separated from the group – left to wander the dark streets and drunken masses of the Big Easy on my own. Though I had enjoyed the independence and unfamiliarity of my trip up until this point, I now found it unnerving and frightening. I felt like a small child looking for my mother in a large department store. As I wandered from the meeting place towards Bourbon Street, I noticed a suspicious character lurking in the shadows. I was definitely being followed by this tall, older man with long, dark hair and a long, gray beard – very odd looking. Earlier that day, I had purchased a bottle of Louisiana hot sauce for my father. I firmly grasped the bottle in my hand, ready to brandish the glass and hot sauce to fend off any attacker. Luckily, I made it to the crowded strip unscathed.

I searched the whole town (well, maybe a few blocks) before giving up hope. I found the perfect street corner and was preparing to sit down and cry like a little orphaned child when I noticed someone was already occupying that corner. There sat a young man singing and playing guitar. I befriended him instantly and spent St. Patty's Day with him, his mother and his friends. I never would have thought that I would spend an evening with what some might label a vagrant, but I don't regret for an instant. From start to finish, my trip was an introspective on random meetings with odd characters. I'm still waiting for MTV to offer a bid on my story.

No travel agent, website or upperclassman's recommendation can prepare us for these lessons in fun. But never underestimate the strength in old men, the value of solid plumbing or the kindness of strangers.

The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer

• Spring break 2000: students share their scares, sagas and stories
  
• Something is bound to go wrong somewhere