Wanna play Mario Kart?
Molly Strzelecki
Growing Up to be a Kid
Listen, this is how it goes, and this is how I have accepted it for the past four years. There are two, maybe three types of relationship statuses at Saint Mary's and Notre Dame:
1. You are in a committed relationship, which means that you are basically married but do not actually live together.
2. You are single.
3. (Which is really a subset of 2.) You are single, but you hook up wherever, whenever and however you can.
I promised myself that I would not do this, would not broach this subject, but I think it has to be done. I am not going to complain about the way things go because it has been done — numerous times. But dating here is just a subject that is huge and time and thought consuming, so why not?
People, just accept it. Dating on these campuses sucks. The previous are your three options and that is how it goes. (Although I have heard the legend about a guy going up to a girl whom he barely knew and asking her out to dinner. Just like that. I think, though, that it was really a well-worn myth.)
Anyhow, I notice that a lot of people seem to misconstrue what, exactly (when it actually happens), a date is. I can honestly say I am not really sure. But I can tell you what a date is not.
A date is not:
- Sitting around, drinking beer, watching movies and then making out.
- Anything involving Mario Kart, Mario Soccer, Mario Golf, Dream Team 2000, PlayStation or Nintendo 64 in general, beer and then making out.
- Going to an SYR or formal — and making out.
These are not dates. I do not care if they do sometimes involve dinner, flowers, nice conversations, smooches, whatever. They are not dates! They are make-out sessions with G-rated foreplay.
It makes me wonder if other colleges across the nation are like this. Are the schools in this community so academically based that we lose all concept of socializing with the opposite sex? Are we as students so involved with our studies in order to better ourselves for the real world that the capacity for normal dating is like a 747 flying right over our heads? Very, very doubtful.
It is amazing then, to me, that people get married after graduating from here. How did they manage to meet their significant other when only three months back they could hardly form a coherent sentence or talked so much the object of their affection backed away very quickly?
I would like to add in here that I am not pinpointing this on the guys. Girls are just as junky in the dating scene, let me tell you. Although I have noticed that we take it to the opposite end. We are predominantly the ones who chatter on and on and on, not leaving you any room to talk. And I understand why some guys do not hold up their end of the bargain in a conversation — because there are those girls out there who, after talking to a guy for five minutes, assume that (ha, ha) they are now dating.
That in mind, I would like to clear something up for anyone guy or girl who feels that way. If I "dated" every guy I have ever had more than a five minute conversation with, then currently I would have approximately 35 boyfriends. (Hmmmm ... actually, that is something to think about ... maybe then my mom would get off my back about not dating anyone.)
Kidding aside, dating is a tricky thing. No one wants to be the first one to admit feelings for the other person, for fear of rejection and complete humiliation. These can be such strong feelings that it is hard sometimes to tell if you are even dating another person. I would like everyone to take a step back, look at what they think might be considered dating and ask themselves this: Do you only meet in bars or are you intoxicated when you see the other person? Then you are not dating. If you have never seen the inside of your love interest's room, then you are definitely not dating. And this last one, though specific to the Saint Mary's woman, is key: If "your man" has never made it to this campus, then you are by no means, I am talking absolutely not, dating.
Dating is definitely not a bad thing. I like it, a lot of people like it, it can be fun. Here is one thing to keep in mind which I think might clear up a lot of confusion for some and maybe even start a campus-wide dating wave. Going out on one date with a person does not mean you have to marry that person. That is the whole point of dating. You get to pick and choose and maybe someday you will get lucky. Never deny yourself the benefit of options. Why do you think they invented 31 Flavors?
Molly Strzelecki is a senior writing major. She can be e-mailed at strz7359@saintmarys.edu. Her column appears every other Tuesday.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Tuesday, March 27, 2001
