The nun costume has long been a thing that I have had questions about. The costumes seemed to make the women behind them sooo… hard to get to. "The Great Human Emperor Penguins" ruled the icebergs of Catholicism, and these righteous women would waddle there way to salvation bearing wooden crosses, rosary beads, and bibles. At least that is the old image that I had. The nuns of today, however, are way hip and down to earth and don't wear the old get-up any more, at least around here.

If you've ever wondered why nuns don't wear a costume here at Notre Dame, it is because most religious orders decided that it wasn't necessary. If you want to know more about nunning, I recommend that you speak to a nun. Most of them will talk to you, that is, if you have a secret nun decoder ring and know the secret nun handshake. But some don't even require that you have access to that stuff. The message here is, "talk to nuns." It never hurts to have a few good nuns on your side, especially these days with all that sin going around.

Also, if you ever make a nun mad, you will have the power from other nuns to counteract the nun's prayers against you. Just kidding around. Nuns never pray against people, just on them. Just kidding again. Only vampire nuns do that. The nun profession is extremely honorable and doesn't deserve to be poked fun at, but I feel that one can never be too humble.

Sometimes being friends or just talking with a nun can seem intimidating. In that case, the best thing to do would be to see a movie about nuns to get warmed-up. A few movies that have good representations of nuns are "The Sound of Music," "Madeline" and TV's "The Weekend Nun". But really the best representation of a nun can be found in a movie called Sister Act. After watching these movies you'll be singing and dancing with every nun you meet.

A fun nun artifact that you can see on campus is the nun chute. I think it is attached to the First Year of Studies Building. Anyway, it is the building next to Lewis Hall. There is a cylinder attached to the building that served as a nun fire escape. It is a twisty slide. The door isn't locked either, and you can stick your head up there, or even climb up there, and experience fire escaping the nun way.

Nuns are great, but I honestly wouldn't mind if some nuns took time to feed some of the birds. Then nuns could walk around campus with birds on their shoulders whistling happy songs. I think life would seem lots easier if I saw that kind of stuff everyday. That would be really something.

I have often thought it would be a fun idea to have a nuns vs. priests softball game, or water balloon toss, or Bengal Bouts. I bet they could raise a lot of money doing something like that.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer

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