Technology has been screwing people over for more than 100 years. Every time your computer crashes or you watch the "Personalized Settings" box take forever loading up in the lab, technology is screwing you.

But technology screws over corporations too, not just individual people. It seems that technology has been screwing CBS forever.

During the Grammys this year, the CBS edit people kept missing Eminem swearing on the air. As a result, several naughty words kids hear everyday on the playground were said on America's last moral compass — television.

You probably don't remember Michael Larsen, who used technology to screw over CBS back in 1984. Larsen, an unemployed ice cream truck driver, competed on a little game show you might remember fondly: "Press Your Luck."

"Press Your Luck" was the game show where people dressed in teal and bad 80s hair competed for thousands in cash and prizes. People hoped not to hit "Whammies," which were little cartoon characters that took all your money to buy more blue eye shadow, which was the fashion at the time.

Contestants would watch a flickering board and then hit an enormous orange button to stop the board, all the while chanting "No Whammies, Big Bucks, no Whammies, Big Bucks."

Larsen taped every episode of "Press Your Luck" and figured out by pausing his VCR over and over that the game board had only six random patterns. This is like "Jeopardy!" recycling questions, hoping that "nobody pays attention to Alex Trebek anyway."

Larsen memorized the patterns and went from Ohio to Los Angeles to seek his fortune like some covered wagon pioneer from the 1800s. What is not clear is if he left Ohio to avoid kids running up to the ice cream truck with 100 pennies wanting to buy a Fudgesicle.

Once it was his turn to play on the show, Larson kept getting hitting the "Big Bucks" square, racking up $20,000, then $30,000 on a game show where winning 10 grand was a big day for a contestant.

About this time, the show's producers realized they were getting screwed, and CBS had sinister emergency meetings to deal with the Larsen problem.

Larsen kept spinning, and eventually got to over $110,000. At this point he stopped because his concentration began to slip and he got lucky on a couple spins that he didn't hit right.

It's a shame that he did stop because he had a kid going to Notre Dame and $110,000 wasn't enough to cover the tuition hike in 1984. Apparently they had a "budget crisis" back then too. (I made that up).

CBS only aired the episode with Larsen twice, and when they sold the rights to the reruns to the USA Networks, they put it in the contract that USA couldn't show the Larsen episode, probably out of bitterness. CBS also added 10 more patterns for the board to stop future contestants from screwing them the way Larsen had.

So here are the lessons to be learned from Michael Larsen:

1. If you have technology, it will eventually screw you.

2. If you're going to make a game show, put really dumb people on it and save yourself some money.

3. Game shows have permanent bad karma. They let people win money, and then they take it away. It's like teasing a dog with a Milkbone. You can tease the dog all you want, but eventually he will bite you in the leg.

Who will technology screw next? It's hard to tell. But I, for one, hope it will be CBS.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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