Learning slowly about racism
Marlayna Soenneker
Here We Go Again
I have been paying enough attention to the editorial pages of the Observer in the last few weeks to notice that we have had a couple of points about racism debated lately. I am a white student from a small town in Oregon that generally lacks diversity, so it may seem that I wouldn't have anything to say on this topic. But I do. (That's what being a columnist is all about.)
Mostly what I have to say is that I don't understand a lot of things about racism. I imagine that there is probably a silent but sizable number of people who are as unsure as I am. It used to be, when I was little, that racism was saying certain words or believing certain false stereotypes or looking down on someone because of their race.
But nowadays, it seems that racism is less men in sheets and pointy hats and more everyday people who don't realize they are doing harm. I am unfortunately, a rather racially uneducated person. While I understand blatant racism, I sometimes do not understand the less obvious forms that racism can take.
Like every other freshman on campus, I went through a diversity workshop during the first month of school. Mine was early in the morning, so I can't say I remember it all that well. But I do remember being told that I could be racist or do something racist and not even know it.
This thought has made me paranoid. I am sometimes so worried about doing something that could be racist that I simply avoid the situation altogether. Once I know someone, I lose the paranoia, because the first impression of appearance fades. When I know someone, I forget about their race, and I don't worry so much about things related to it. But for people I am just meeting, or strangers I have to interact with, I often have nothing to go on but appearance, and my paranoia can cause me problems.
Case in point: Sometimes I work down in Grab'n'Go. At times, this means that I swipe people's ID cards. Athletes are allowed to get about twice as much food as other people when they eat from Grab'n'Go. When athletes eat, we have to swipe their card through the special athletic machine before swiping them through the regular machine. The special machine gives the Grab'n'Go an extra two dollars for the athlete's extra food.
Last semester, I was doing the card swiping when a really big African-American guy came to the desk. The guy was really huge, he had a ton of food in his bag and I was pretty sure that they guy was an athlete. But I also specifically remembered talking about the incorrect stereotype that all African-American guys are athletes at the diversity workshop.
I didn't want to do anything that could seem like I was operating under such a stereotype, so I didn't ask the guy if he was an athlete, and I didn't swipe his card in the special machine. I just let him go by. I know he was an athlete because the regular machine wishes all athletes "good luck" when you swipe their card, and the machine wished him good luck. Because I was so worried about seeming racist, I actually lost the Grab'n'Go money. This is how paranoid I sometimes am.
I think many people, like myself, are well-intentioned but don't always know what constitutes a racist act. Growing up, it was obvious. But as I have grown up, I have seen that some people are hurt by things that I don't automatically see or understand as racist.
I don't think the problem is even thoughtlessness in most cases. There was a letter to the editor on Friday, February 18, that described a situation caused by ignorance. The writer detailed a situation that happened to a Hispanic friend who had written a paper that the teacher had graded poorly.
After class, the teacher asked the Hispanic friend if English was his first language. (It was.)
The writer told us that this was a case of an ignorant racist act, and I am sure that is true. However, it took me about a week of thinking to finally come to an understanding of why this would be a racist thing to do. It seemed to me like a harmless, though embarrassing, attempt to help a student. I guess that I, too, am ignorant of the etiquette of race relations.
The difficulty of being ignorant in this case is that realizing you are ignorant is not in and of itself enough to solve the problem. Somehow you must learn what it is you do not know.
However, while, I truly want to understand how to not be racist, I simply don't know where to go or how to learn. All I can do is hope that through my very real desire to learn and the various opportunities I experience in my everyday life, I will be able to figure out the answers to my questions.
Marlayna Soenneker's column appears every other Thursday. Marlayna would like to ask that you respect her other paranoia, which is nasty letters to the editor, and only write well-thought-out, respectful letters should you feel moved to respond to today's column.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Thursday, March 2, 2000
