Elvis has left the cineplex
By JUDE SEYMOUR
Scene Movie Critic
"3,000 Miles to Graceland" is probably a better pitch than it is a finished product: Elvis impersonators rob a casino during Elvis Impersonators' Week, get greedy, deceive each other and take to the road, switching possession of the money bag about once every 15 minutes. Throw a love story into the mix, a little personal drama about connecting with a lost father, add some guns and perhaps Hollywood has a marketer's dream.
The finished product, however, is an entangled mess of bad editing, uninspired performances and a pouring out of nonsensical violence. At two hours long, "3,000 Miles to Graceland" has about 15 minutes of engaging content. The rest of the time the movie sputters around the weak interpretation of its story line and would've lulled the audience to sleep if it were not for the pitter patter of machine gun fire at seemingly every available opportunity.
Kurt Russell plays Michael, an ex-con turned Elvis impersonator. He teams with his "brother," (this is one of the movie's many ambiguities) Murphy (Kevin Costner) and three other men (Christian Slater, David Arquette and Bokeem Woodbine) to rob a casino during Elvis Impersonators' Week.
After somewhat of a success, the men are split on what to do with the $3.2 million and get greedy about their shares. The three peripheral men are eliminated, leaving Michael dueling Murphy for money. The rest of the movie plays out as a road trip, detailing the exploits of the sadistic Murphy and the well-intentioned Michael as they inexplicably travel northwest, away from Graceland.
"3,000 Miles to Graceland" cannot help but choose sides for the audience immediately. Murphy is played as a hostile, cold-blooded maniac. Michael, although he helps in the heist, carefully manages to not shoot anyone. The movie's message is too clear: Root for Michael. However, the dynamic characterization of Murphy is clearly the more engaging role. Perhaps that engagement is attributable to Costner who, besides picking an awful movie, actually makes the best of his role.
Recognizing this, the movie tries to even out the plot with Cybil (Courtney Cox Arquette), the Siren that seduces Michael and joins him on the road trip. It is probably the movie's best continuing theme that the audience has to figure out if Cybil is conning Michael for her own benefit, is in collusion with Murphy or if she is actually with him.
By the climactic final showdown in Washington, the movie has expelled all sorts of ridiculous subplots, like throwing darts blindly at a bull's eye. All these subplots, including hints of Murphy's heredity to the real Elvis Presley and Michael's possible earlier romantic involvement with Cybil, are terrible attempts to resurrect audience interest.
To explain the depths of stupidity this movie reaches, an example would be quite helpful. In the movie's last 10 minutes, Ice-T finally emerges. He is billed by the Howie Long character (in some terrible dialogue) as "worth two or three men" because of his unique killing ability. The audience must have been shocked that, less than five minutes later, Ice-T's kamikaze killing style gets himself shot and killed. The movie confuses the viewer in deciding which was more unrealistic: a man worth "two or three men" deciding to stupidly risk his life by making himself a wide open target, or the fact that he was able to kill 10 or 15 agents before a single one shot hit him.
Overall, "3,000 Miles to Graceland" is worth no amount of money. The reason it gets one shamrock is for the promise that is encapsulated in it. Costner and Cox's performances are actually above average, done well because of each actor's unique approach to the characters despite the poorly written dialogue that was handed to them.
Other than those performances, the movie basks in its poor gunplay, amazingly underdone characters and one of the weakest executions of a plot seen in at least five years.
"3,000 Miles to Graceland" can be summed up like its title: Its destination might be visualized but it is going in the wrong direction. So, back in Graceland, the King slowly turns in his grave.
--one out of five shamrocks
All Scene Stories for Thursday, March 1, 2001
