The dining halls at this University are a social blender. After seeing each other in the classroom, at the athletic facilities, in church, and walking through the quad, the cafeteria is the one place where we learn most about each other. You can find out what a person eats, how much of it they consume, who they're friends with, and whether they sit in a noticeable area, or in one of the more lonely, single tables to the side.

Aside from being open later and having a greater variety of food, South is obviously better than North. To fully understand the dining halls we must first examine the people who spend the most time there: the workers. Even more important than hours of operation and quality of food, South Dining Hall workers are far more bizarre and in effect more entertaining than the `Northies.' However, there is that one young feller at North with the obnoxious face piercings who walks around like there is nothing odd about his appearance. He's my favorite.

When South employees eat they are out in the open with their cliqué for all students to witness. The `Northies' always hide out in those intimate little rooms immediately to the right and left of the card scanners.

The people who scan the ID cards are also an enclosed community predominantly made up of the more … how can I phrase this non-offensively… "Senior" employees. These people always bring a smile to my face because there are some that won't even look at you, and others who always give me a warm "How are you?" whenever I give them my card. I always return with, "Fine thanks," or my more saccharin, "Boy, it's cold out there!" They smile at my response, even though they make the same query of every student and hear basically the same response every time.

I don't really see much interaction between the scanners and the more disgruntled workers who put the food out. The food attendees give you dirty looks when you spend too much time at the condiment table when they are about to replenish it.

The students that frequent the dining hall are as diverse as the staff that works in them. There's the, "early bird" that shows up right at 4:30 p.m. for dinner in order to beat the evening rush. This particular group should own stock in Papa John's because they are the one's who are always ordering breadsticks at 11 at night because they can't go to sleep hungry.

Next is the dining hall "celebrity" who walks in an entourage of five to ten at the most congested dinner hour. They're usually overdressed and love to take up the most visible table that the North and South eateries have to offer. Half the time they are not even hungry. They're main goal is to be seen by others and socialize in public. They're travel from the front table to the food line is a runway walk where they stop and chit – chat with other dining hall socialites. When they eventually do get back to the table, they do not sit down but rather stand there cackling and pretending like this particular dinner outing was better than last nights.

I am a member of the group of dining hall patrons known as the "closers." We stumble in after 8:30 p. m. and we usually don't leave until the clean up crew turns on the stereo to rock out as they clear the tables of debris.

I know many of you will be eating lunch or dinner when you read this. The dining hall is a melting pot of the different personalities that make up this great institution. Some of the more eccentric and colorful characters stand out more than others, but who in the hell wants to go to a school where everyone looks exactly alike. Take a look around. Remember the various dining hall faces because I am sure that they point and talk about you just as much as you talk about them.

• D.H. Memoirs