Despite loss, Nixon remains a champion
Noreen Gillespie
Sports Writer
UNIONDALE, N.Y.
Carrie Nixon stood behind the block before the 100-yard freestyle, and everything around her was different.
She tried to make it the same as her record-setting swim in the event two years ago. Tried to make it the same as it was before she had to sit out a season for shoulder surgery. Tried to make it the same as it was before, when she won the title. Even tried to make it the same as it was Thursday night, when she won the 50-yard freestyle title.
She snapped on her goggles, sucking the rubber sockets to her eyes until they were precisely glued. She leaned over into the pool and splashed water on her arms and back. She shook out her legs one at a time, making sure the muscles were limber and ready to race.
It was the same routine she does before every race — and every race here at the Big East Championships where she's won the event three times.
But this time, it was different.
Nixon stood behind lane five, the consequence of a second-place preliminary swim. As the defending title-holder and record holder in the event, second place isn't a place where Nixon is used to standing.
But at night, on the evening when her team would win its sixth consecutive Big East Championship, in one of the last races of her senior season, the preliminary swim didn't matter.
She could turn it around. She could win it, take it back.
So she took her mark, and dove into the pool as she'd done before. Took the first stroke. Hit the first turn.
But in the lane next to her, a fiery sophomore from Miami surged ahead, after splitting a dangerously fast first lap and leaving Nixon in a place that was also different — in the wake.
Ten yards from the finish, the race was decided when Miami sophomore Manon Van Rooijen surged ahead and touched the wall almost a full second ahead of the former champion.
And then, everything really was different.
In that touch, Van Rooijen took everything that used to belong to Nixon. She took her title, took her record and at the end of the meet, took the honor that was once Nixon's: Big East Swimmer of the Year.
She also took what can never be replaced: a win in Nixon's senior season, at the conference championship, in one of her signature events.
"I really wanted to win it," Nixon said, trying hard to hold back tears as her eyes reddened and welled after the meet. "I just wanted to go out on a good note. It's hard ... to be in the heat where a girl breaks your record."
In the water though, neither Van Rooijen nor her teammates would see those tears. After touching the wall and letting the clock confirm what she already knew, Nixon turned and hugged the swimmers in the lanes next to her, pausing even longer in the embrace of the athlete who took what was hers.
She knew she could never have it back, knew that it was different now. But she also knew that this is how the game works. She knew there were good days and bad days, days that belong to her and days that belong to others. She knew that today wasn't her day.
And even through tears, she knew Van Rooijen deserved her due.
"It's always been my thing to congratulate people," Nixon said. "I always do. You wanted to win, and you were out there, but it's an everyone-did-their-best type of thing."
Atop the medal stand, Nixon stood a step below Van Rooijen, descended from her usual stance at the top. Things were different than they were in 1999. Things had changed.
But Nixon didn't.
She walks away with the same determined attitude she brought to the pool this weekend, looking ahead to the next race, ready to try again.
"It's hard being here knowing that I'm faster than that but I just can't go," Nixon said, through a raspy voice worn thin from cheering for teammates during the three-day meet. "It's hard being at this meet and not doing as well as I wanted to do. But I know I can do well [at NCAAs]. Now it's just calming myself down and telling myself I belong with those girls."
She may not walk away from this year's Big East Championships with the normal additions to her résumé, and she may walk away a title short of her expectations. But she won't walk away bitter or angry. She may walk away disappointed, but she won't walk away discouraged.
And atop the medal stand Saturday night, from a descended step one level away from the winner, Nixon gave Van Rooijen one more hug, perhaps to cement her congratulations for the athlete who took her crown.
It couldn't have been easy. After sitting out from the championships for a year for shoulder surgery and rehabilitation, Nixon came back wanting, for one more time, to stand on top of the medal stand. She didn't want to lose to a sophomore, didn't want to lose her records when she had a chance to keep them, didn't want to be second best.
But when she turned to Van Rooijen, when she offered her congratulations, when she smiled and put her performance behind her to cheer for her teammates, she proved something.
Even without the title, she walks away a champion.
Contact Noreen Gillespie at gill0843@saintmarys.edu.
The views in of this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Sports Stories for Monday, February 25, 2002
