I have insomnia. For the past month I have not been able to sleep to save my life. I toss and turn for hours and when all is said and done, I lay staring at my alarm clock as it passes from 4 a.m. to 5 a.m. to 6 a.m.

I'm not exactly sure what keeps me up, but I'm pretty sure it's the thought of graduation, and the question of `what the heck am I going to do with my life' that keeps me awake. I graduate in less than three months, and after that it's all downhill. I don't have any definite plans at the moment, and I'm kind of living life on a whim.

I have no particular job lined up and no particular place to go. I'm thinking of moving to Colorado for the summer just to hang out and see how it goes. But is that really a smart thing for a college graduate to do?

I get the idea a lot of people think I'm crazy, especially the ones who already have great jobs lined up at top companies and have their lives all figured out. I just don't find corporate life all that intriguing at this point in my life. I'm pretty much stuck between a rock and hard place though because if I don't work then I can't afford a place to live, and insurance, or a car, and the list just goes on and on and on. What's a girl to do?

In an attempt to ameliorate my insomnia, my mother sent me a small care package. I opened it up to find some pairs of socks I left at home, some nighttime tea, and a book. "What Should I Do With My Life?" by Po Bronson. The book stared back at me and I thought to myself, you have to be kidding.

A few days later and a couple chapters into the book, I have to admit this was the coolest gift I could have ever gotten, and I thank Oprah for recommending it to my mother. I have no desire to go out and become a monk or the president of the kidney foundation, but the stories in the book have eased my worries about life after graduation and my lack in sense of direction. Nobody really has it all figured out.

I'm not sure how many of you are in my shoes right now, but they are pretty uncomfortable sometimes and it's hard to run. As Po Bronson would say, "destiny is not handed to us on a sheet of paper when we are eighteen to keep in our pockets as a reminder just incase we forget." It's something we have to figure out along the way; one mistake after another. So I think I will go to Colorado this summer and see if there is anything out there for me. Who knows, maybe while I'm there I can get some sleep.

• Sleepless in South Bend