A tale of two Notre Dame parents
Gary Caruso
Capitol Comments
For last year's Junior Parents' Weekend, I urged students to appreciate the weekend they were about to share with their parents and classmates. I recalled how I, as the coordinator of my JPW, had little time for my family.
I let slip away an opportunity to share my family with my classmates and their parents. I failed to expose them to the diversity of my student family on campus.
Our Church and our nation are strongest when we embrace tolerance and diversity. The coexistence of Bible-thumping fundamentalists with "Cafeteria Catholics" enriches our faith. Until the Sept. 11 attacks, Democrats and Republicans were last congenial "loyal opponents" prior to 1994. In light of Sept. 11, those of us middle-aged people who are set in our ways should reflect on how we can learn to better tolerate and appreciate the diversity that makes us the renowned American or the fabled Notre Dame family.
This parents' weekend, I tell a tale of two Notre Dame parents — a father whose son graduated from Notre Dame and a mother whose two children currently attend the University. Each has read this column and communicated with me via e-mail.
I, in turn, always respond to both the nice and nasty comments. Below are excerpts from each that are as opposite in tone as can be charted.
Having seen that I worked for President Clinton, the man replied like a "freeper," a conservative who bands together on the Internet on so-called "free republic" sites to respond en mass like the old "moral majority" did with their letter writing campaigns. My Dec. 7, 2001, column citing the horrors of war from my father's World War II experiences and my generation's bout with Vietnam riled him.
He wrote, "If your phony, perjury-riddled, sorry excuse for a Commander-in-Chief were still in charge we'd probably be engaging in some country-wide hand-wringing instead of responding with the only thing that these maniacs understand. My son, a Notre Dame grad, was in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and barely escaped with his life. For you to suggest [between the lines] that the United States is somehow responsible for these hideous attacks makes me wonder how you'd feel if you or a family member were victims of these animals."
I replied, "I'm not quite sure which lines you were reading between, but I agree that the United States must strike back in the manner we set forth. I was trying to bring some reality to the students on campus who have no idea what war and suffering and death is ... unlike my generation that faced going to Vietnam.
"Why not re-read my column without your emotion and see if the lines between which you have read are not exactly the same ones I intended for the readers."
He then e-mailed me, "I re-read your column without emotion, and you're even further off-base than I originally thought. What really frightens me, almost more than bin Laden, is that you have access to some very intelligent, fertile minds [at Notre Dame]; we can only hope that their parents have prepared them to deal with misguided souls like you."
He went on, "What do you mean `our' generation, do you think you're the only one who had to face the potential of war, Vietnam or otherwise? The world doesn't revolve around liberals only!"
When my sister, also a Notre Dame graduate, and I cited Web sites that offered countering points of view, he replied, "Doesn't anyone else read your column? For someone who worked for [Clinton] would suggest to me that you haven't even earned the right to the little Observer column that is read by no more than a handful of people ... good thing!"
A Notre Dame mother wrote, "I felt I had to contact you over 2 years ago when I read your article about Father Robert Griffin, `Live Each Day as if it Were Your Last.' But I got busy and the thought faded away. That is why after reading February 1, 2002 column, `Savoring the Semester,' I had to respond."
She went on to say, "I too let a sighting of Father Griffin go by. I had often thought about him and considered him one of the people at Notre Dame who had the most impact on me as a person, along with my roommates, a few friends and a professor or two. I did not have the courage to tell him what an influence he, his sermons, and his writings had on me for the past 20 years.
"When I read of his passing, I was quite upset over the loss of him for the University and for this world and upset with myself for not contacting him before he died ... I had let a moment slip away that could never be recaptured."
"You can't know how proud and overjoyed I am that my children are attending Notre Dame and loving every minute of their experiences. I feel I should still be a student. I do not have clear, sharp memories. I know I enjoyed myself, studied hard, made great friendships that have endured, but my mind is fuzzy on real recollections. I am trying to instill in my children to treasure each and every day, the good days and the bad, the beautiful weather and the snow and ice, for they'll be moving on before they know it."
After exchanging more stories via e-mail, she wrote, "I really look forward to being on campus again and sharing experiences with my son and daughter and gathering fresh memories for me to hold on to."
She concluded, "All in all, I have been blessed and I certainly attribute a lot of my blessings to Notre Dame and what it gave me — intellectually, personally, emotionally and spiritually."
We can attribute that to diversity and tolerance.
Gary J. Caruso, a 1973 graduate of Notre Dame, served in President Clinton's administration as a Congressional and Public Affairs Director. His column appears every other Friday, and his e-mail address is Hottline@aol.com.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Friday, February 15, 2002
