I am tired of the cookies, the chocolate covered strawberries ala Martha Stewart, and the dozens upon dozens of roses. It does not seem romantic at all. The holiday has become a race to determine who gives the biggest and most expensive gift. It is no longer about love but on how we can buy.

According to the History Channel, which means I did not watch it but had someone do it for me, St. Valentine was a dude who defied Emperor Claudius decree that no man could marry because it made him a bad soldier. St. Valentine would marry young couples in private. He may have been killed attempting to free Christians from the prisons where they were often tortured. Also, while he was in jail he fell in love with a young girl, might have been the jailer's daughter, and wrote her love letters that were addressed "From Your Valentine."

The holiday was meant to remember St. Valentine. It was definitely not meant to shower each other with decorated pieces of paper and dead flowers. St. Valentine acted out of love, not to empty his wallet on meaningless gifts of little or no sentimental value.

Yet every year, since Kindergarten, I was told to bring Valentine cards to school. The last Valentine's card I gave out was seven years ago to a girl that I liked. I was promptly rejected afterward.

It was not the rejection that made me this way. It was the constant reminder that on this one day, I am supposed to profess my love. But instead of finding love, I become aware of pain and of remorse the day after.

How many of us know people who broke off their relationship on Valentine's? I know a few who would rather forget about this day. Poor souls, they get reminded about this dreadful day everywhere they look.

The cost is another thing. This is a very expensive holiday. Between buying chocolates, roses (at a huge markup), and then dinner later that night. I am sure you can understand that some men would prefer to spend their money on something more useful or something that will really impress their girlfriend.

Here is an example: There is this guy, "Joe", he has a girlfriend, "Anne", but miles and miles of ocean separate both. Anne is in the U.S. and Joe is in Europe. Earlier this year, Anne, in Europe on business, surprised Joe by flying to see him on his birthday without him knowing.

Sounds nice, huh? This is not the end of the story. Joe, wanting revenge, decided to do the same to Anne. Without anyone knowing, not even his closest friends, he flew for 18 hours across the Atlantic. He surprised Anne outside her door and both embraced. The surprise was so strong that she was in tears. He spent his money to surprise her. That is romantic.

Guys, if you want to make your girl feel special on this day make something for her. Do something for her that is of good character and always to make her feel special. Cook for her, try it, it is not so hard. Make her a card. Grow a plant for her. Whatever the gift, it will be better than store-bought cards and teddy bears. It does not take long to make and she will love you more for it.

Ladies, please do not think that wearing as much red as humanly possible will get others to enjoy the day. It might give them a headache. Another piece of advice, most guys do not like candy, or at least they will not admit to it. Give them candy if they ask for it. When they do, the more they get, the more they like it. One final tidbit, do not expect much from him unless he knows what is best for him.

As to my ValentineÕs day, I am going to spend it with friends. I will not spend money on flowers or chocolates. I would rather risk my life saving persecuted Christians. Better yet, I might save this money for something ten times better.

I too think that Europe is nice in the summer.

Happy Valentine's everyone!

• It's Valentine's Day