Sexuality series lecture addresses sexual abuse
JILL MAXBAUER
News Writer
One in four females will be sexually abused by the time they are 18. This startling fact is what prompted the decision to plan the "A Criminal Choice: Sexual Abuse," for the Understanding and Embracing Our Sexuality Series.
"Personal choice has been an on-going theme throughout this series. Tonight is different because it is about a criminal's choice," said Sister Lydia Kors.
"When I was in college, I had no idea how pervasive child sexual abuse is — I see it as a women's issue because it is so pervasive. This is real and it's never your fault," said Mary DePauw, director of the Counseling and Career Development Center as well as a licensed psychologist.
The planning team used a sexual choices and decision making manual in order to prepare the lecture. The model was adapted for the college population and to help make this topic a reality. The model for the forum included personal stories, small group work and a flowing discussion by both the students and the planning team.
"It helps to make it real by sharing — to share the many ways in which abuse realities exist. There are so many different kinds of abuse that men and women are victimized by. The common thread is violence — someone chooses to hurt someone else," said DePauw. "One of the things we need to do as a culture is to say `this is not acceptable.'"
"Power and control are the center points of sexual abuse, and rarely do you have only one form of abuse. Emotional and physical abuse usually plays a role," said Anne Marie Mayhay, one of the student planners.
The question of healing was proposed to the planning team. DePauw explained the processes a victim goes through in order to heal.
"Most victims don't seek immediate help because they are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, where they will avoid anything that makes them think about the incident. The first thing that needs to be done is to provide a safe place for students to come and talk and use, whether it be the counseling center, staying with friends, or going home to find that safety," said DePauw.
The steps DePauw outlined include reestablishing safety, remembrance and mourning and reconnecting to normal life.
"It [sexual abuse] doesn't have to traumatically effect every relationship for the rest of her life. A sign of getting over the trauma is being able to talk about it," she said. "It's an interesting culture that does not make healthy, respectful relating a priority — so what are you going to choose to do? I think that's the challenge for the members of this community."
The planning team urges anyone who has been a victim of sexual abuse, whether from child abuse to date rape, to seek help.
All News Stories for Thursday, February 7, 2002
