All right. Here we go. Only 52 minutes. I can handle this. Just don't think about the time. Concentrate on the professor. Yeah. This sounds important. Like test material. I should learn this. Concentrate.

Concen — that's a nice coat.

Black leather. I should get a coat like that. Then I would be cool. Who am I kidding? I can't pull off a coat like that. You have to know your limitations. Right. Okay.

51 minutes. Come on clock. Move. Wait. Don't look at the clock. Pretend it's not even there.

I think Shiny-Watch Brunette is looking at me. Maybe. Nice eyebrows. She looks very studious today. I should try to talk to her after class. Ask her to borrow her notes. "So didn't I see you at Corby's this weekend?" I could say. Or something. She'd probably look down on me because I didn't do the reading.

Or maybe she'd like it. Rebellious. Brave. My own man. Like a young Steve McQueen. Hollywood Bad Boy. Hmmm. I'll talk to her next week. Yeah. It will be easier to pull off some time next week. Certainly. I'll even remember to shave. Good decision. Okay. It's decided. Christ. I am a coward.

Uh oh. Discussion time. God I hope she doesn't call on me. Look very unassuming. Look. Very. Unassuming. Oh good. Ask her. She'll know the answer. You can tell by her posture. Yup. I knew she'd have the answer. That's it. Keep talking. Keep talking. Keep taking up time. I tried to read it. I really did but the paragraphs were so daunting. Two or three-page paragraphs. Like continents. I mean come on. I used to be a good student. Sophomore year I would've read it. Maybe even pursuedd it like she told us. Pursue.

Yeah right. I used to be a good student. No more. Used to have this fear, this adrenaline-fueled anxiety that drove me to prepare for class or study for tests. Or come to class. Or buy the books. Back then I couldn't sleep the night before big tests. Now I can sleep through tests. Yeah. Well. Memories.

Is that clock even moving!?! It's been like 3:53 for about 15 min — Oh. Very good then. 3:54 and I feel like a new man. Um. Hey you. Yeah. You with the high school class ring on. Stop. Just stop it now. Stop. Talking. Can't someone do something? He obviously doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. If you don't know anything keep your mouth shut. Like me. I'm not paying $30,000 a year so Mr. High School Ring Man can play professor. Of course I'm not listening. But at least I'd like the option. I wish the teacher would just tell him for once what she really feels about his insights. Just once. It would be good theatre. We could all eat popcorn. Alright then.

Where we at? 47 minutes. Not bad. Now don't think about the time. Think about something else. Anything. Birds. Think about birds. Perfect. Birds. Okay. Here we go. Birds. Birds. Birds.

46 minutes. Come on. Move. Clock. Come on. Move. Come on. Come on Eileen oh I swear well he means at this moment you mean everything with you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty ah come on Eileen. Good song.

Wow. Listen to that girl swallow. Do I swallow that loudly? Sounds like a seal or something. Hmm. I wonder if other people are thinking these same kind of thoughts? Probably not. Well. Maybe. That guy in the corner looks like he could be doing this right now. Hmm. There she goes again. Swallowing. So loud. This is weirding me out. All right. Time for experiment. I'm taking a sip and listening. Here we go. Sip. Jesus I do swallow loudly. It's disgusting. I'll never swallow in public again. I'll get an I.V. or something.

Wait a second. What is she talking about? I'm completely lost now. Ubiquitous? What does that mean? I have no idea. But that guy in the corner is lost with me. He doesn't know what it means either. We're in this together. Shiny-Watch Brunette looks a little puzzled herself. Or she doesn't care. Yeah. I think that's it.

In fact. Look around. I think maybe no one is paying attention anymore. For all I know they're having the same thoughts I'm having. Except Mr. High School Ring Man. Five minutes ago the professor sneezed and he recorded it in his notebook.

Kind of sad though. All these uninterested faces. In fact you sort of have to feel for the professor. I mean here she's going on and on. And she's a smart lady. To this class full of people who don't care or probably don't understand what she's trying to say anyway. Uh oh. I can feel myself getting cynical here.

Hey look at that. Only 39 minutes to go. Well I'll be. Now.

Don't think about the clock.

Scott Blaszak is a senior and his column appears every other Wednesday.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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