Sex means committment, not just affection
Letter to the editor
Tuesday, Jeff Eyerman wrote a letter endorsing the view that marriage is an out-dated and unnecessary sacrament. According to him, marriage is not necessary to legitimize sex as long as two people are "in love." For the moment, let's set aside the question of what constitutes being "in love," because frankly, that whole line sounds like a grade B movie come-on.
Instead, let's look at the other side of this argument, from the doctrine of the Catholic Church. Sex is sacred. Maybe many of you reading this have never heard that particular phrase used before and maybe even find it trite. That's because you haven't thought it through. Sex is the act by which ordinary human beings become co-creators of new life with God. As a result of the importance of this act, God has created a safe, nurturing environment for sex: within marriage. Sex unites two people in the act of creating new life, one new soul and body from two individual people. Remember that reading? Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one flesh." Also, Mark 10:6-8, "But from the beginning of creation, `God made themmale and female.' For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Black-and-white, clear as crystal. Sex is reserved for the holy union of marriage with the blessing of God. God intended sex to be used for the procreation of children, the formation of a family and the strengthening of the relationship between husband and wife.
This relationship is important enough that it is used to mirror the relationship of Christ to His church: Christ is the bridegroom, the Church is His bride. Starting a family is not something to be taken lightly; therefore, neither is sex. If one does choose to have sex outside of marriage, there are serious consequences. The first is that the two individuals have sinned against God and against His laws for man. The second consequence is that the two individuals have cheapened something very sacred. And no amount of "love" can erase that sin; only the sacrament of Penance can do that. But sex in marriage isn't just for the procreation of children; it's also for strengthening the bond of love between the man and woman commited to the marriage.
Sex, as Mr. Eyerman doesn't seem to understand, makes each partner extremely vulnerable. It's supposed to; that is the way God intended it, so that the husband and wife may truly become one. The vulnerability that sex creates is filled by knowing that your spouse is dedicated to you for life. Just like the vows said, "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" and all the rest of it. Without the commitment of marriage, sex will leave you totally exposed and emotionally deserted, no matter how much "love" you have!
Within marriage, however, it raises you, your partner and your love to unbelieveable heights and actually moves you closer to the heart of God. Mature Christians realize that true love requires commitment. Otherwise it's just a child-like infatuation, one that will someday fade.
Most people don't want a one night, one month or even a one year intense relationship with the fear that someday the one they love will break up with them, leaving them alone again! Commitments are hard; that's why many people like to pretend that they aren't necessary for sex. But they still are. God designed our species that way. The solid commitment of marriage is also worth it. People have been making just such commitments and raising close, loving families, all the while being deeply in love. And that kind of love can be learned and practiced even when you don't feel like it, even when it isn't convenient.
Marriage brings with it the grace and TRUE love to withstand anything, forever. Love, true God-intended love between a man and a woman, IS precious. It's also sacred. And the two souls become one.
Katherine Hoppe
Freshman, Lyons Hall
January 25, 2000
All Viewpoint Stories for Thursday, January 27, 2000
