Once upon a time there was no Internet, no cell phones and no TV. In those dark days, people used to go to buildings where products were on display for them to examine and buy. Salesmen used to have to convince consumers that their products were more than snake oil and tonics.

How the times have changed; today, the average college student sees about 360,000 commercials before their freshmen year. And of course, no late-night TV watcher can avoid the granddaddy of all commercials: the infomercial.

But not all infomercial salesmen are charlatans and thieves, right? The Observer has taken three products to the testing floor to see if they can live up to their own hype.

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Oven and BBQ

Ronco Inventions, the company that also advertises the "Inside-the-Shell Electric Egg Scrambler" and the much parodied "GLH Formula Number 9 Hair System," has actually invented devices that has a practical use for those of us who are competent enough to use a whisk and are terrified by the idea of spray-on anything.

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Oven and BBQ a relatively hassle-free device that is ideal for people for want home-cooked food, but either aren't particularly talented in the culinary arena or are simply lazy.

The unit, which is a little smaller than a microwave and looks like a toaster oven with a large geared spit on the inside, has three settings and a timer dial. From the time the whole system comes out of the box to the time it is ready to use is about three minutes.

The Ronco infomercial does downplay a few of the oven's negative aspects; particularly, after use the oven has heavy grease stains which are difficult to lift out. Soaking the removable metal parts in a warm dish detergent solution makes the stains fairly easy to remove with an abrasive dish pad.

Similarly, the "Set It and Forget It" feature by which the machine operates itself is a bit of a misnomer; the oven needs supervision during use, drops of grease jumping off meats can ignite and cause a serious fire. Of course, leaving any heat source unsupervised while preparing a meal is irresponsible.

The machine does, however, produce juicy and well prepared meats in a remarkable amount of time with little or no preparation. The Observer tried the Apricot-Orange Game Hens suggested in the oven's manual. Two 1.5 pound game hens can be cooking about one minute after removing them from their packages (after being defrosted); the Apricot-Orange rub can be prepared in another about two minutes. In fact, most of the time amateur gourmets spend with this machine will be cleaning it, not using it.

Another fairly clever feature of the oven is the steamer tray. The tray lies on top of the oven and can cook most vegetables in the time in which it takes to thoroughly prepare the meat. The Observer used of a cup of frozen peas, a half of a cob of corn and the remaining apricot-orange glaze in the steamer tray, all of which came out properly prepared.

The rotisserie oven is particularly convenient because it can eloquently prepare dishes for a very small price. Ten dollars worth of ingredients is more then enough to have a full meat portions with a glaze or marinade and two side dishes for two people. Combined with the relatively small preparation time for most dishes the oven is ideal for off-campus students who would like to eat cheaply but not spend a lot of time in their kitchens.

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Oven and BBQ is available in two sizes for $149.90 and $99.95 (the smaller size is sufficient to cook for up to four people) from www.ronco.com or by calling1-800-486-1806. Interestingly enough, if you leave your number on the Web site to order, they will call you back in about five minutes. And of course, Ronco takes every credit card under the sun.

C. Spencer Beggs

The Gazelle Freestyle

He is the Fabio of infomercials. With his blond pony tail and spandex shorts, Tony Little the guru of such exercise videos as Bodycise, World-class Buns and Legs and Tighten Firm and Smile tries his hand in indorsing an exercise machine — The Gazelle.

Produced by Fitness Quest, The Gazelle's slogan is boosted on the infomercial and Web sight, sucks the lazy work out consumers with lines like, "The more muscle you use, the more you can raise your metabolism, the more calories you burn — and here's the great part: with all of this, you actually do less exercise."

About the only thing true about the Gazelle is a person actually does less exercise.

After unloading the 54 pound box full of bowed steel, foot pads and instructional videos about hard abs and "buttkickin'" workouts, the 45-minute assembly couldn't have been worse.

Surprisingly, The Observer found only one bolt missing when it unpacked its Gazelle, although it wasn't that necessary.

However, the easy assembly is the sole highlight of the Gazelle. After standing the machine up, the cross bar was loose.

One feature the Gazelle Web site mentions is its "self centering design for rock-solid stability" making a steady crossbar essential to achieve the low-impact work out, strike one.

For men looking for a machine to work up a sweat or women looking for machine with a burn, the Gazelle is not it. Most people can break a sweat walking on a treadmill in 15 minutes. But the Gazelle will have most workout buffs swinging in the air for an hour for nothing.

Not only was there no sweat and no burn but there was no resistance, which begs the question: how does one build muscle and burn fat without resistance?

But before The Observer wrote the Gazelle off completely, their testers followed Little's instructional tips like leaning forward to work the abs and leaning back to work the back and quads. The only reason either one's stomach or back muscles would become engaged using this machine has more to do with trying to not fall rather than feeling the burn. The Gazelle is not stable.

Monica Mendoza tried the Gazelle. Stepping on tentatively, the first thing she noticed was that the foot pads suspended by wires were wobbly.

"You could fall on here; I mean, I don't feel secure at all. It is not a safe machine," Mendoza said.

Although Mendoza is not an exercise machine expert, the Gazelle's instability threw it a second strike.

Strike three rest in the generic way in which Fitness Quest operates. The company sells more than just the Gazelle and really do not seem too interested in its customer service department. To return the defective Gazelle (which is actually a mammal that looks like an antelope and resides in the African Sudan and survives on shrubs) The Observer called the 1-800 number. But surprisingly the customer service contact didn't even know the proper way to send the machine back.

If the choice for exercise lies between buying the $264.70 Gazelle or buying a new pair of sneakers to hit the track, buy the sneakers — in the end you can still wear the sneakers.

Myra McGriff

OxiClean

Bar-b-que ribs, salsa and French-onion dip may be staples of a Superbowl party, but they can be death to your favorite clothes if you drip on yourself; deep stains can ruin one's best shirt faster than George O'Leary's coaching tenure.

Fortunately for messy football fans, OxiClean, claims it can use the power of oxygen to blast stains right out of their cherished fabrics.

The "stain specialist" claims it is safe and effective for all organic stains. According to the box, using the OxiClean spot and stain pre-treater with the laundry detergent should remove those drip stains easily so you can spend more time watching the game and less time making sure all of your snacks make it into your mouth.

To test the "oxygen-powered" stain fighting abilities of OxiClean, The Observer stained a shirt with bar-b-que sauce, French-onion dip and salsa. After the stains set for an hour, the spots were sprayed with four squirts of the pre-treater and rubbed vigorously for minute as per the directions. The shirt was then immediately dropped into the washing machine where the OxiClean laundry detergent went to work.

The results were disappointing. Although the salsa and French-onion dip were washed clean, the deep bar-b-que sauce stains were mostly untouched. The results were similar to using a standard pre-treater like Shout and a regular laundry detergent like Tide. Not even "oxygen-powered" cleaning could removed the tough stains.

While the OxiClean laundry detergent failed to remove the bar-b-que stains, it was effective at whitening the T-shirt. After awhile, T-shirts tend to get dingy from the sweat and oil from the skin. While regular detergents did not effect the dinginess of the shirts, after washing the shirts with OxiClean, the shirts were restored to their previous bright white.

OxiClean has many uses besides laundry, however. For $19.99, you get the starter kit with the laundry detergent, the pre-treater, four toilet bowl cleaning tablets and a multi-purpose stain remover for all kinds of household uses.

The toilet bowl tablets were nothing special. After dropping one into your bowl, you wait a few hours, then come back and flush the toilet. The tablet has removed all the bowl stains. However, it is only a one-time use tablet. The stain fighting power disappears as soon as the bowl is flushed. Products like 2000 Flushes are much more efficient for toilet cleaning because they worked for months without any work.

The multi-purpose stain remover was the best part of the OxiClean set. It could be mixed with water to clean any number of household items from carpet stains to shower curtains. The mixture can be sprayed onto almost any dingy item and the bubbling action of OxiClean begins loosening stains.

The mixture was sprayed onto some heavy mildew in an off-campus apartment shower and it made a big difference. The bubbles loosened up the mildew enough that a little elbow grease got the shower clean. Other bathroom products are not nearly as effective as OxiClean for breaking up mildew.

Overall, OxiClean is overrated. The television commercials make OxiClean seem like a product that can clean anything with little to no effort. In fact, it only slightly more effective than regular cleaning products and in some cases, less effective. You should definitely pass on the laundry detergent; Tide or any other brand works just as well for a lot less money. The toilet tablets are pretty much useless. A little elbow grease and a brush can clean a bowl just as easily. The multiple flush tablets like 2000 Flushes are better if you don't like to touch a dirty toilet.

The multi-purpose cleaner is really the only item that is worth purchasing. It is recommended that you buy it by itself and not as part of the starter kit. It won't make your stains disappear but it will make your cleanings tasks a little more effective.

Mike Connolly

Contact C. Spencer Beggs at beggs.3@nd.edu. Myra McGriff at mcgr0181@saintmarys.edu and Mike Connolly at connolly.28@nd.edu.

• Gizmos and gadgets and gougers (oh my)