If you've been a part of a top-secret mission to Mars with your best friend Mono the chimp for the past week, no doubt it'll come as a surprise to you that Oakland and Tampa Bay are playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. That seems to be about the only way anything from Earth could have avoided hearing about this apparently cataclysmic event, the likes of which have never been seen before and never will be again. At least, according to ESPN, the great and wise Magic 8-ball of the sports world.

Before you regurgitate your heaping plate of Blazing Sea Nuggets, I'd just like to ask one question: Could the Super Bowl maybe, possibly, be a little overblown? The Fox network has to be salivating madly at all this promotion. Knowing Fox, the halftime show will no doubt include Simon Cowell in the locker rooms, telling both teams that if they don't play better, they'll be stoned. While this might be a bit of a stretch, even for Fox, it probably isn't too far from reality for Tampa Bay and Oakland. If so, no doubt 20 TV cameras will be there.

What's that?

Oh, yeah, you can run to the trashcan now.

If Fox is going bonkers over this Super Bowl, you can bet just about everyone else is too. There were so many stories about the "Media Day" on Tuesday, all talking about the Don King impersonator, that I'm surprised none of the SportsCenter anchors donned a wig of whatever dead animal Don King has on his head these days. Or maybe they did, and I didn't see it, since I'm only watching Balkan ice hockey at the moment. This is because I have to resort to ESPN35 nowadays to avoid hearing at every turn how Johnson and Johnson will rip the Raiders, or how Gannon will make the Bucs look like they're wearing skirts. It all sounds like a lot of baby powder and powder-puff to me.

Don't get your diapers all in a bunch, though – I do know how good these teams are. I watched entirely too many NFL games this season, and even thought some were good. My problem isn't with the football – it's with the coverage. It just takes something out of it for me when MTV sends Mandy Moore while Nickelodeon sends kids (with slime in hand, no doubt) to "cover" Media Day. Then ESPN.com has so much Super Bowl stuff that it must be impossible to read it all without sitting in front of a computer from now until kickoff.

While that may work for some of us, like the squirrels on top of the library, for most of us that isn't going to happen. Sure, I'll watch the Super Bowl; although as a Browns fan I don't really care who wins. But just a little bit less hype, and a lot more football would go a long way. Who knows, if it's another breathless classic like the last couple, Mono might even clap!

• Less hype, more football