How was your millennium celebration? Did you watch the millennium coverage on ABC? Or maybe you've heard President Clinton talk about our country in the new millennium?

Millennium, schmellinnium.

I still have a year to plan my millennium celebration and so do you. Sorry to break it to you, but the turn of the century and the new millennium starts next year — Jan. 1, 2001. We're still in the 20th century and still in the second millennium. Anyone with a first grade education and a little common sense could tell you that.

Last time I checked, there was never a year zero. Back in the sixth century, a monk named Dionysius Exiguus (literally translated Dennis the Short) determined that time should be marked by the birth of Jesus. As a result of his studies, he set the year AD 1 (the first year of our Lord). However, in his plan, he counted backwards the time before the birth of Jesus down to the year 1 BC, and then immediately shifted to the year AD 1. There was no year zero in between.

So anyone who can count to 100 can tell you that the first century comprised the years AD 1 through AD 100. The second century began with AD 101 and continued through AD 200. By extrapolation we find that the 20th century comprises the years AD 1901-2000. Therefore, the 21st century will begin with Jan. 1, 2001, and continue through Dec. 31, 2100. Similarly, the first millennium comprised the years AD 1-1000. The second millennium comprises the years AD 1001-2000 and the third millennium will begin with AD 2001 and continue through AD 3000.

Here is another way of looking at it. If you had 100 pennies, the 100th penny would complete the dollar. The 101st penny starts the next dollar. Therefore the 100th year is the last year of the century and 101st year starts the next century. Similarly, the 1000th year is the last year of the millennium and the 1001st year starts the next millennium. So the third millennium and 21st century start at 2001.

Now that's not so difficult, is it? You would think a society that invented the computer, landed on the moon and cloned a sheep would be able to do a little math and accurately point out the start and end of

the centuries and millenniums.

I guess not.

• Millennium, schmellinnium