Obtain 24 different timepieces. Set them all at different times. Take a nap and then try to figure out what time it is.--Procrastinating Ploys for the Pokey Pupil
Have you ever wondered what happens to all of the beer that the security officers confiscate every week? Did anyone find the "50 cents for a can of Natural Light" special at Senior Bar a little random? According to inside sources, these two thoughts are not necessarily unrelated. Security officers recently sold 40 previously confiscated cases of Natural Light at three dollars each to Senior Bar.
As cruel as the concept of taking beer from unsuspecting underage students and reselling it to drinkers over 21 for a profit may seem, the Gipp thinks it is a better concept than some of the alternatives. For those of you out there that have fallen prey to ID-checking, beer-swiping security officers, at least you will no longer walk away from the whole humiliating ordeal bitter with the thought that they will take your beverages and throw themselves a little party. Of course even that would be better than envisioning a bunch of the boys in blue sitting in a circle in ritualistic fashion, cracking each beer and systematically pouring them down the sink.
This is why the Gipp says, "Charge on, men, and fetch hither some more beer." Next time, though, try to bust someone with cases of Budweiser, or at least some Busch Light. Natural Light in a can, even at 50 cents each, is a little tough to swallow--literally.
With the 20-10 victory over Satan's Emissaries, er, Boston College, this past weekend, the world witnessed the birth of a tradition: the passing of the Ireland Trophy to the winner of the Notre Dame - Boston College face-off. Well, the Gipp wants to know why Notre Dame made this $1,300 investment (without one cent donated by BC, mind you) when there has been a trophy already in existence for just such an event for quite some time. This other trophy commemorates former coach Frank Leahy and has been quietly passed on to the winning team in the ND - BC rivalry for years. In sum: Notre Dame invested $1,300 in a small piece of glass to show that there are no hard feelings between Notre Dame and a college that most Irish fans would rather see vaporized off the face of the planet. Not only that, we go public and act like this is something new and original, when in actuality, Notre Dame and BC have been exchanging a trophy in silence for years. "Gee, it sounded like a good idea at the time..."
Notre Dame hockey has been getting a lot of attention lately. For example, much to the chagrin of many hockey fans, the University recently replaced the old, decrepit bleachers around the ice rink with newer, more uncomfortable bleachers, which apparently seat a good deal fewer students than the old ones. This means that most students cannot get in free, as was the case in the past. Now, only the first 300 students get in free and the rest of the students must have a ticket.
Another complaint has been the placement of the student section, which is directly opposite the ND bench. This means that the students get to heckle the opposing team's goalie (which is a must for any hockey game) for only one of the three periods. These are all legitimate gripes but, personally, the Gipp is more surprised at the amount of interest in ND hockey as of late: he thought most students lives went into hibernation outside football.
Inside sources have revealed that many administrators in the Office of Residence Life take it upon themselves to leave early at least once a week. To go where, you may ask? The popular answer/excuse is that they go to play golf, as if that is a perfectly acceptable response. However, the Gipp thinks they are up to other, more covert, operations, which perhaps could explain many of the unsolved problems around campus. Perhaps they:
Goodbye, Gipp fans, enjoy the weekend. For all you, this will be your last home game in the old Stadium and for many of you, this will be your last home game as a student. So go out there and party with reckless abandon--or at least as much you can with your parents in town. The Gipp wishes the football team good luck. Win one for the Gipp--please! The Gipp can't take another heart attack like the one he suffered at the Army game.