Gossip, Allegations and Innuendo

Gerry Faust and Daniel "Rudy" Reuttiger -- number 38 and number 13, respectively, in Sports Illustrated's list of the 40 most "dubious, irrelevant and annoying" individuals in sports in the last 40 years.

UNITY OF THOUGHT

An alert Campus Watcher pointed out a teensy flaw in the latest kitschy poster the Notre Dame machine was trying to pass off on unsuspecting Notre Dame consumers.

"Irish Unity" shows the student section, many showing off their lovely navy Shirts from last year. In the background, one sees the green trees and blue sky. Fine and good.

The poster's caption reads: "This picture was taken November 13, 1993 at what was dubbed 'The Game of the Century.' #1 Florida State collided with #2 Notre Dame at Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend on a beautiful autumn day."

Another particularly observant junior Campus Watcher pointed out that the Pitt flag was flying closest to the press box in the picture, where the visiting team's flag most often flies.

Now the Gipp may have been artificially warmed up that day, but he certainly was not wearing shorts, and none of the trees were green.

HANGIN' OUT AT THE HAMMES

Ever wonder if anyone looked at your photos at the developing center? You know, the ones you plan to use for blackmail someday. One Gipper fan had taken photos of the Keenan men streaking across campus during spring semester finals last year (worth at least $2000 per Keenanite per year). Yet when she went to pick up her photos from the Scammes, lo, certain photos were mysteriously absent.

The plot thickens: another campus shutterbug got caught in a separate scandalous photo opportunity, this time involving a certain 13-floor library, certain men of Alumni Hall and a certain lack of clothes. These photos (reportedly quite close up) came back from the very same bookstore.

The Gipp decided to give the bookstore a call on the matter. They assured the Gipp that no one outside of the developing company looks at the photos. For this reason, the Gipp leaves it to his loyal Watchers to decide why the Keenan boys' pics were yanked and the Alumni guys left behind.

KEEPING THE MONEY HAPPY

The Gipp wanted to know why there was no student ticket lottery for the Boston College game. Luckily, a loyal fan passed on the results of her conversation with the ticket office, where she called to see if she could get tickets for the game. No, she was told. The administation doesn't want students traipsing all over the country just to see a football game. It's not safe. But don't think our surrogate parents in the Dome are letting those seats go to waste. The tickets were sold to Notre Dame alumni, who can't get enough tickets to their own stadium (remember why we're expanding the stadium?). The Gipp suspects that our administrators on high were more concerned with the safety of the Boston College students (i.e., revenge) that for the well-being of Notre Dame's own.

MACLEOD WOULD BE PROUD

In the "get the Gipp's attention" stunt of the week, four courageous Flanner men (working in shifts) braved cold, rain and stupidity waiting outside the JACC since 9:30 Sunday morning so they can be the first in line for basketball tickets. Mind you that tickets didn't go on sale until Tuesday at 8 a.m. The Gipp decided to look into this one late Monday night.

When the Gipp arrived on the scene, there weren't just four fanatics but TWELVE. "We like to sit in the front row," one of them said. "You get to be on TV and all." Most likely on the commercials against drug abuse.

GETTING TOO PERSONAL

The Chicago Tribune played honorary Campus Watcher this past weekend. In their Sunday sports section, they reported how Lou Holtz's secretary arrived before gametime on Saturday to discover that "Walsh" was painted over "Holtz" on the curb by the coach's parking space. Operations management staff quickly repainted the curb then restenciled the name "Holtz" there. As if the name-calling weren't enough.

That's it, that's all for this week. The Gipp is now going to think of ugly, antiseptic designs for the new dorms (it's all the rage) to sell to Facilities Engineering.

When GREs seem hopeless ...

The Gipp knows what it's like to be in the middle of an exam then just freeze up. For this reason the Campus Watch is providing these suggestions (courtesty of ND Mosaic and his imagination) for any folks taking GREs this weekend or any other fill-in-the-bubble test: