Two weeks ago, the Gipp misunderstood a tip from one of his sources that upset the student government secretary a whole lot. The Gipp is sorry. While demanding a retraction, she told Scholastic that Frank and Nikki are allowed on campus for loading and unloading purposes only. The Gipp knows this is essential for student government operation. She assured Scholastic that this is not a tradition.
Now look closely at the sticker in the photo above, defenders of campus truth. That sticker belongs to the Gipp's favorite lame duck, Frank Flynn. The "NO1" lets Frank park in any campus lot and gives him a one-hour pass to park anywhere on campus. Frank's car was parked unattended in a 30-minute spot outside Cavanaugh Hall for at least six hours in a row the day of this photo. The Gipp thinks this is a lot of unloading and loading.
First, the Gipp is always a bit wary about paying 40 cents for anything containing more than 25 percent of one's daily allowance of lard. Chip companies may find this surprising, but the Gipp really prefers not to feel his heart working harder as he eats his cheddar-flavored crackers.
But what frightens the Gipp more about substances from the vending machine is the processed food rotating under fluorescent light without an expiration date. A special case among these has to be the hermetically sealed sandwiches. The Gipp rather suspects that these sandwiches are really just for show. Every three days or so, the Gipp thinks, they are removed, cleaned and repackaged.
Now there is a new toy called Mosaic. One of the Gipp's engineering friends introduced it to him in between complaining how little sleep she had gotten. Mosaic is a program on all the computers here that connects one with anything from weather maps to Tarot readings. The Gipp's time killer of choice, though, is called "100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate," put together by the ND's computer guru Mike Miller*.
Some of the Gipp's picks:
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
16. Buy a Jack-in-the-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for 20 minutes.
60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
Soon after, another of the Gipp's Junior Campus Watchers passed on the tip that the twosome appeared in the Allentown, PA, newspaper, The Morning Call.
The Gipp expects to see David Letterman chatting with the Dynamic Duo within a couple weeks.
On the losing side of the election, dear Ms. Karen DuBay allegedly received around 40 or 50 harassing phone calls during the week of the election. A quick call to security revealed that no report had been filed. Of course, the Gipp's heart bleeds for the ticket whose run-off plan involved discrediting the opponent.
Thanks for reading again, ever-watchful Domers. Next week, the Gipp explores forbidden spots beneath the campus. Until then, take the long trail, eat all your kale, learn to read Braille and should that still fail, sail the Gipp mail.
mail: 303 LaFortune
phone: 219/631-7569
fax: 219/631-9648
CHEETOS, FRITOS AND CHUNKS
All-nighters rot. This surely comes as no revelation to any of the Gipp's faithful followers. The Gipp's least favorite aspect of these stamina-fests is the vending machine food.NEW WAYS TO PUT OFF PAPERS
The Gipp loves e-mail. He sees it as the next generation of the answering machine, where one can avoid humans until interaction becomes vital. Plus it is a great way to put off writing a paper.THE REVOLUTION SPREADS
The Gipp was paging through the South Bend Tribune this Sunday when two familiar faces stared at him from the page. Hungeling and Orsagh now have coverage of their coup (in full color, no less) on a local level thanks to the writing of our favorite Observer Jock Stripper, George Dohrmann.ON THE JUNIOR PARENTS WEEKEND BISHOP-ENDORSED FRIDAY ABSTINENCE EXEMPTION ALLOWING PARENTS TO PARTAKE OF HORS D'OEUVRES
Cocktail weenies, cocktail weenies, cocktail weenies.TIP THE GIPP!
e-mail: gipper.1@nd.edu