This Week's Baritone Hero

This week's baritone hero is Ninjas, because they are totally awesome. Ninjas can kill anything they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. To truly understand why they have earned this high honor, let us examine some Ninja Facts:

1.)  Ninjas are mammals
2.)  Ninjas fight ALL the time
3.)  The purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill people

If you don't believe that ninjas have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Mmmmmm, plagiaristic.