PARISH NURSE'S CORNER
Diane Beach, RN, 631-4139
Email: Diane.P.Beach.9@nd.edu

November 2008

Eternal Rest

Grant unto them O Lord

On Monday, November 17, 2008 at 7:00 p.m., Sacred Heart Parish will remember the following parishioners who have gone to their eternal rest at the Mass of Remembrance in the Sacred Heart Parish Chapel:

Elizabeth Craig, William Dyer, Harry Foster, Henrietta Gallagher, Eugene Kocent,

Ruth Kowals, Rose Lapara, Rollin Lasseter, Marie Magner, Cecil Mast, Ruth Meuninck, Winifred O'Donnell, Catherine Pilot, Bernard Pinkowski, Justine Polack, Edgar Powers, Jr., Patrick Scott, C. Joseph Sequin, Anthony Sims, Jean Sullivan, John Taylor, James Tremel, Mark Tulchinsky, Ruth Willemin, and Brenda Williams.

When a church member is grieving,

how can we reach out?

What happens to us when we lose a person who was so much a part of our lives? We grieve. But the truth of the matter is we are not very good at grieving. Perhaps that is why we find it difficult to console those who have lost a loved one.

Do not let your own sense of helplessness; keep you from reaching out to those who grieve. Feeling inadequate, or afraid you will say the wrong thing or you don't want to bother her/him, are some of the excuses used to avoid the situation.

What can a church community do to reach out to those who are grieving? It is never too late to say a kind word, like, "I think of you and your husband so often, I miss him also, he was such a vibrant member of the parish." Share a story with them, do not be afraid to use their name, sit next to her/him at Mass, offer a ride, meet for lunch, send a note, contribute to a charity in their name, call them every so often, but most important, just listen. Allow the bereaved to talk, cry and reminisce. Listening can ease the pain. You will not have all the answers, words are inadequate, just be genuine in your concern. The mourner will feel validated when he or she is heard.

Nonverbal communication is also important, just being there can be of comfort, because grief is a very lonely journey. After a death, many friendships change, we become judgmental, and expect them to get over it and move on. Grief has no timeline and is different for each individual. Do not expect them to reach out to you, even though you said "call me if there is anything I can do." They may be too overwhelmed to even pick up the phone. Check in with them, do not wait for them to call you, they probably won't. Any gesture will be remembered as an act of kindness.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

(Matthew 5:4).