Parents who often fight with one another or ignore their spouse in front of their children may do
well to resolve their differences constructively, according to two recent studies. Researchers at
the University of Rochester and Catholic University have confirmed earlier findings by Notre
Dame psychology Professor E. Mark Cummings that parental conflict can have a lasting
negative impact on a child's development.
Cummings and the Rochester and Catholic University psychologists all found that the
way in which parents manage everyday conflicts has a profound effect on a child's sense of
security and that, in turn, affects future emotional development.
"A useful analogy is to think about emotional security as a bridge between the child and
the world," Cummings says. "When the marital relationship is functioning well, it serves as a
secure base, a structurally sound bridge to support the child's exploration and relationships with
others.
"When destructive marital conflict erodes the bridge, children may lack confidence and
become hesitant to move forward or may move forward in a deregulated way, unable to find
appropriate footing within themselves or interaction with others."
In the studies, researchers found that when parents engaged in such behavior as personal
insults, defensiveness, marital withdrawal, sadness or fear, the later result for their children often
was emotional insecurity, depression, anxiety and behavioral problems.
Earlier work by Cummings and his colleagues suggests that when parents constructively
work through their differences with problem-solving techniques and compromise, and express
physical affection and positive feelings, a child's sense of security may actually increase.
(July 2006)
