There's always been a lot of talk about the battle between the
sexes at Notre Dame. But for insight into the gender wars at Notre
Dame, one need look no further than dorm décor during the
first two weeks of February. Female dorms plaster the walls with
construction-paper hearts and run pink streamers from the ceiling.
The residents write notes on their friends' dry-erase boards and
pin cards to their doors. Compare this to the three years I lived
in the dorm. One time my RA left a bowl of candy hearts in the
TV lounge. That was it for three years. This year, living off-campus,
I didn't even get that.
Valentine's Day at Notre Dame can leave a bit to be desired.
As a second-semester senior, I've already seen three V-Days come
and go, and I have to say I've been underwhelmed every time. Despite
the enthusiasm with which the women bedeck their dorms, this enthusiasm
rarely translates beyond interior decorating. One would think
that any college, what with the heady mix of raging hormones and
lack of parental supervision, would be a hotbed of activity on
the day devoted to love. Alas, such is not the case at Our Lady's
university. Don't get me wrong, the holiday has its true believers,
but a majority of Domers greet the day with what can only be described
as apathy.
I'd opine that at least 90 percent of this apathy is due to
the weather. As I'm sure alums can attest, South Bend in mid-February
is barely habitable. Nothing dampens the youthful fire of the
loins like wind chill in the single digits.
Also contributing to Domers' apathy on the 14th is the distinct
lack of a healthy dating scene on campus. Some strange combination
of parietals and deeply ingrained Catholic guilt has combined
to produce a student body that views romantic advances with suspicion
if not outright hostility.
The lack of dating does not stem from lack of encouragement.
Efforts are always under way by campus events programmers to encourage
dating. In the week before this Valentine's Day, Legends (the
new, improved Senior Bar) hosted a round of what's known as "speed
dating." Basically a man and a woman chat at a table for five
minutes. When time is called each person rotates to another partner.
After several dates, a scorecard lets you rate each potential
partner. At the end of the evening the organizers gather up and
tabulate all of the cards. If a man and a woman are mutually positive
about each other, the organizers e-mail out phone numbers.
This may seem like some sort of bizarre social experiment, but
according to a buddy who tried it out, the participants actually
enjoyed themselves. Legends may have stumbled onto the perfect
dating experience for my short-attention-spanned generation; speed
dating is the romantic equivalent of channel surfing.
For those lucky enough to actually have a special someone before
the Big Day the Glee Club offers a simple service that's especially
good for the perennially cash-starved college student. For a mere
$3 a quartet of singers will telephone your beloved and sing a
song. And as much as your girlfriend would like to be serenaded
by the hauntingly beautiful "Thong Song," the Glee Club insists
that you stick to one of three classics: "Wild Irish Rose," "Let
Me Call You Sweetheart" or "Passing By." But the fun doesn't end
there. For a mere $2 extra, the quartet will not only deliver
the serenade live and in person at the lucky lady's dorm room
but will sing a second song and present her with a rose
to boot. That's a lot of brownie points to score for a measly
five bucks.
For my fellow seniors who happen to be in serious relationships,
February 14th is another layer of added pressure. "Ring by spring"
becomes the unofficial mantra for dozens of ND and SMC women,
and many of their boyfriends are plenty obliging. It's only fitting
that the Grotto is the most popular proposal site, even with the
chilly South Bend weather. The candles in front of you, the lake
behind you and Mary's watchful eye surveying the whole scene;
it's a fitting cap to a Notre Dame career.
Personally, I won't be getting engaged this Valentine's Day.
But I may follow the cue of a friend of mine who faked a proposal
in the dining hall our sophomore year. He stood on his chair and
screamed his proposal for all to hear. His female accomplice pretended
to be overwhelmed by the moment and burst into tears while the
stunned lunch crowd clapped and cheered around them.
This to me is the most encouraging aspect of Valentine's Day
here at Notre Dame. Though not every undergrad will find love
with a fellow Fighting Irishman or Irishwoman, they all at least
possess the good grace to be happy for those who do find love.
For those who're still looking for that special someone, well,
there's always next year. You never know when that next round
of speed dating will put you across the table from your future
soulmate.
* * *
Joe Muto is a senior double majoring in film and English.
(April 2004)
