The Revision Process

Inexperienced writers often make the mistake of viewing the revision process as an exercise in proofreading and in using the thesaurus. Although both exercises are useful, they do not go far enough. Revising an essay requires the writer to step back and objectively "re-vision" or re-see what the initial draft presents.

Some Questions to Ask About Your Rough Draft

The Job as a Whole

• Are the points in the best order?
• Is the overall purpose accomplished?
• Is the treatment sufficiently complete (does it get somewhere)?
• Is the treatment too long-winded?
• Have you avoided simply regurgitating someone else's ideas?
• Is the point of view sharp, clear, and consistent?

Vocabulary

• Is the language in keeping with the subject matter?
• Can some weak nouns be changed and made more interesting?
• Are there too many or too few adjectives?
• Can some weak verbs be made stronger?
• Have you avoided the weak passive?

Have you placed a strong word in all sentence positions?

Sentences

• Is the meaning of each sentence absolutely clear?
• Can childish sentences be replaced or combined with the use of appositives, subordinate clauses, etc.?
• Is the thought carried clearly from one sentence to the next? are your transitions well chosen?
• Do you have correct agreement of subject and verb, pronoun and antecedent, etc.?
• Is punctuation used so as to make the thought completely clear.
  Is the sentence complete -- neither a purposeless fragment nor two sentences strung together?
• Is there any awkwardness or incoherence?
• Are all words spelled correctly?

Style

• Is the tone of voice formal, breezy, bitter, angry, etc.? How do you know?
• Are there any clichés to be removed?
• Is there any originality in expression or idea?
• Is the whole thing dull and insipid or vital and wide-awake?
• Is the humor (if any) original or overworked, cute or corny, etc.?

NOTE: The paragraph is not an accidental unit determined by a whimsical decision to indent. If you are dubious about indenting for a new paragraph, then you are not sufficiently organized in your thinking. The paragraph has its own logic. It is a urposeful grouping together of a number of ideas to illustrate a larger idea. Both the beginning
and end of a paragraph should be dictated by logic and not by chance.

Eight Characteristics of Good Writing

Unity, Continuity, Coherence, Clarity, Economy, Variety, Emphasis, Energy

Some Points of Technique

1. Use (sparingly) questions, exclamations, commands

2. Alternate short and long sentences (vary the length consciously)

3. Vary the type of long sentence

a. According to grammatical structure
b. According to arrangement and placement of detail

1. Balanced sentences parts should possess equality of "weight"; parallelism
2. Loose sentences main thought given first
3. Periodic sentences main thought held off until the end

4. Use series of words, phrases, clauses

a. For accumulation of detail
b. For a climax (usually achieved by arranging series from weaker to stronger; short to long)

5. Achieve suspension by holding off the thing you are looking for or holding off the main effect; interrupt the flow

6. Use (judiciously) specific details, examples, anecdotes

7. Use (judiciously) quotations

8. Use allusions to other fields of knowledge to emphasize a point

9. Use anaphora (repetition)

10. Try paradox (fairly difficult to achieve)

11. Use antithesis (contrasting ideas set in balance)

"Man proposes, God disposes."
"To err is human, to forgive divine."

12. Use (where possible and appropriate) figures of speech simile, metaphor, hyperbole, irony, etc.

13. Try to feel a proper rhythm for the effect you want

14. Improve your vocabulary but do not strain for an effect

15. Keep a journal of phrases that strike you in reading

16. Read!!!!

17. Trim, apply surgery, leave out anything you don't need

Transitional Devices and Expressions

The word transition means "passing over." Thus transitional guides are connectives (symbols, words, phrases; sometimes whole sentences or paragraphs) that make possible a smooth "pasing over" from one idea to the next. Transitions are made by referring to what has been said before, establishing cause-and-effect relations, looking
ahead to what will be said, referring to the present, marking time and place, qualifying, comparing, contrasting.

There are three common transitional devices:

1. Pronoun reference
2. Repetition of key words
3. Transitional expressions

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